Reservations started to fade
by Lost
Counting Stars
[reviews]
"You. Actually, love is more the word versus crush." Willow said, facing Buffy, waiting for a reaction, hopefully a positive one, but that didn't seem to be what was coming through. When Buffy sat down in shock, Willow watched her, tears forming in the redhead's eyes. "I take it back!" Willow said before she could stop herself. Buffy stared blankly at her.
"Hey, Will, it's uhm, just a surprise is all. I uh, I have to go." Buffy said as she stood up and walked to the door.
"Buffy, wait!" Willow said, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks. She stood up to reach for the blonde, but Buffy shied away from her touch.
"Don't Will, I just, I need to go." Buffy replied as she twisted the handle.
"Buffy, I, I-" Willow stammered out.
"It couldn't work." Buffy cut her off as she walked out the door and left, not bothering to shut the it. Willow stood there, staring at the open door, hugging herself in an effort to get the tears to ebb.
Buffy walked quickly down the hallway, and out of the dormitory building. She needed to clear her head.
'What the hell's the matter with you?' half of her screamed at the other half.
"Hey, I wanna crawl out of my skin
Apologize for all my sins
All the things I should have said to you
Hey, I can't make it go away
Over and over in my brain again
All the things I should have said to you
Counting stars wishing I was okay
Crashing down was my biggest mistake
I never ever ever meant to hurt you
I only did what I had to
Counting stars again"
'She wouldn't be safe!' The logical part of her brain hollered. Buffy hugged herself as she walked down the sidewalk, nearing the mansion.
'But you hurt her!' The all heart part argued.
'It'll be better off in the end. She'll be safer.' Buffy shuddered as she thought of how everything she seemed to love never worked out. That was the point of Riley after all, safe and dependable. Not like it would be with Willow. With Willow, she wouldn't be able to bear it if they were to breakup. It would be too much to lose her best friend and lover in one blow.
"Hey, I'll take this day by day by day
Under the covers I'm okay I guess
Life's too short and I feel small
Counting stars wishing I was okay
Crashing down was my biggest mistake
I never ever ever meant to hurt you
I only did what I had to
Counting stars again"
Willow lay curled in a ball on her bed. Her body shook as the tears poured out, she drew in rattled breaths as she thought of how her life would never be the same again.
"Counting stars again
Counting stars again
Counting stars again
Counting stars again
Counting stars again"
Buffy kept walking, letting her brain argue over the issue for her, feeling numb to the world. "Shutup!" She screamed at herself, and stood there for a minute, then decided what she would do.
A/N: If you want more, just let me know. - L.