Finding Her Way Home
by rebelrsr
Chapter 2
[reviews]
Disclaimer: All things Buffy belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and lots of people in expensive suits. I'm not making any money here, just trying to create a happier Buffyverse for my favorite characters.
Spoilers, etc.: "Dopplegangland," "Something Blue" and everything after "The Gift."
A/N: Character thoughts are enclosed by **. Flashbacks are enclosed by //. Thanks to Zenithar for the beta and encouragement! Thanks to Zigpal for the continuing support and suggestions. I couldn't do it without you.
Archiving: By permission only.
A/N2: There were some inconsistencies in Aeris' original chapter. One of Willow's mothers was alternately called Kirstan and Katrina. I chose the one that was used most often and am sticking with that.
Buffy stood on the porch long after Spike left, trying to understand what was happening. The warmth and peace of Heaven were distant memories. She was cold, inside and out. Leaning against the railing, the Slayer let her mind wander over images from the past: her first day at Sunnydale High; visiting Willow before going to confront the Master; hanging out in the Bronze; holding Willow after Glory had sucked Tara's mind. *Damn. Even I can see the pattern here. Willow, Willow, Willow.* Straightening, Buffy reentered the house.
Dawn was in her room. Without the two witches, it was eerily quiet. *It's time to stop drifting through life. If Spike's right,* she frowned at the thought, *then I can't just let Willow walk away.* Firming her resolve, Buffy marched into the kitchen and picked up the phone. Two rings later, a quiet voice answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Tara, it's Buffy."
The Slayer waited impatiently through the pause. "B-Buffy, is som-something wrong?
"Not exactly. Dawn mentioned a few things about Willow's magic use." She gripped the receiver tightly. *Come on, Buffy, don't stop now.* "We were way off base on what's been happening. Can I come over?"
"I d-don't th-think th-that's a good idea." Buffy closed her eyes at the response. "Even if she was able to st-stop using magic, we aren't getting back together."
The closed eyes flew open. *Whoa! Definitely not getting back together, Tara. No way.* "Yeah. I know. But, I didn't really understand everything Dawn told me, and there's some other stuff, too."
The blonde witch's reluctance was clear. "I don't know, Buffy. It's been really hard to move on. I don't know..."
"Please, Tara. I promise not to mention even once you getting back with Willow. I just need some answers, and I don't want to do it over the phone. How about I meet you at the Espresso Pump in half an hour?"
"Alright, Buffy." A sigh sounded in her ear. "I'll see you there."
Nodding in satisfaction, the Slayer replied, "Great. Thanks, Tara. Bye." After replacing the handset, Buffy trotted up the stairs and knocked on Dawn's door. No one answered, but she knew her sister was there. Gently opening the door, Buffy saw the teenager sitting at her desk, headphones on, reading.
Dawn looked up when she walked in. Removing the headphones, the brunette asked, "So, did you call her?"
"Um, no."
Dawn looked disapproving. "Geeze, Buffy, don't you think you owe her an apology?"
"Yeah, I do, Dawn. I thought maybe she needed a little time to settle in. And," she decided a little honesty was in order, "I wanted to talk to Tara about the magic stuff. I'm meeting her at the Pump in a few minutes. Think you'll be OK on your own for a while?"
The younger Summers smiled, "Sure, Buffy. I got plenty of stuff to work on."
"OK, then. I'll lock the door when I leave. Don't wait up." She left the room, Dawn's laughter following her.
***
Willow followed Alex to the bonfire. The redhead still felt awkward joining the Hirsches. Perhaps sensing her discomfort, Jennifer smiled at her prodigal daughter from her position against Kirstan. The young girl smiled back, though the effort was obvious. Choosing a spot between Drew and Morgan, Willow listened as one of her many new relatives asked for volunteers to start the storytelling.
"I'll start," Kirstan's sure voice easily topped the various side conversations taking place around the huge fire. She kissed Jennifer lightly before continuing. "It seems appropriate, now that we're all together again, to tell Willow how her mother and I met."
Groans sounded from various locations. "Not again, Mom, please," Morgan begged from Willow's left. "Tell us anything but that. The rest of us could quote the whole thing, word for word."
Kirstan laughed. "OK. I'll spare you that tale. But we need to help Willow feel more comfortable being back. Any suggestions?"
A vocal free-for-all began. Suggestions, questions, and bickering surged from kids and adults. Willow was touched; her family was trying so hard to make her feel at home. Maybe she was the one who needed to let them in on who Willow Rosenberg — now Hirsch — really was. "How about I start us off?" she shouted over the din.
"Really?" Jennifer asked.
"Sure. Goddess knows living on the Hellmouth with a Slayer for a best friend gives me plenty of tales to choose from." Willow thought for a moment. "Have you guys heard of a demon named Anyanka?" A chorus of 'no's' sounded. "Ok, then," she continued with a grin. "You'll get a kick out of this one."
Sitting cross-legged, hands resting comfortably on her knees, Willow started things off. "About three years ago, Anyanka came to Sunnydale. She was a vengeance demon who granted wishes to scorned women." Briefly, the young witch sketched in the details of Cordelia's original wish. "When the alternate Giles broke her amulet, she got stuck in real Sunnydale, much to her chagrin. So, she found a naïve and poorly trained young witch to help her restore her powers."
She paused and looked around. She had everyone's attention. "For those of you who don't have great observational skills, that was me." She smiled at the memory. "Of course, I wasn't the cool, collected Willow you see before you. Oh, no. I was shy, babbling Willow. A Willow who was having a very bad day." She continued the story, touching on her pathetic attempt to storm off after the 'Old Reliable' comment and made sure to give a description of her Willow-wear for the day. "I know it seems kinda unimportant, but the clothes are a key element to the day's developments," she said to the group listening attentively.
***
Buffy finished telling Tara about Willow's family and the truth about her magic. The blonde witch looked stunned.
"How did we not know this?" she asked the Slayer.
"As my sister would no doubt say, 'Duh.' We were too busy treating her like a magic junkie to look at any other options." Buffy shook her head in disbelief. "At least you tried to help. Me, I just yelled and told her to move out."
"Wow. I mean, if that warlock ripped her channels open, it's no wonder she was using magic for everything." She answered Buffy's confused look with, "Her magic is tied to her emotions. Or, it is right now. That means she has no control. Even a stray thought would have some kind of magical result." Tara went pale at the implications of that statement. "Dear Goddess," she breathed, putting shaking hands over her eyes.
"Tara, what's wrong?"
Without removing her hands, the witch replied, "The memory spells. I suddenly realized Willow may not have done them intentionally."
"Oh, you mean she just thought about making everyone forget and it happened." Buffy sat back in her chair. "It makes sense. It's kinda like what happened right after Oz left the first time." The Slayer had her own realization, then. "Wait a minute. You said memory spells, not spell. What other memory spell did Willow cast?"
The older blonde didn't answer.
"Tara, what else did Willow do? Is it part of the reason you were so sure you would never get back together?"
With a sigh, Tara lowered her hands and looked at Buffy. "Yes. The spell that wiped all our memories was her second attempt at erasing memories. She tried the first one just on me after we had an argument."
"What?!"
"I wouldn't even have known, but Dawn heard our argument and commented on how glad she was we weren't mad at each other the next morning. Goddess," she lamented. "I gave her an ultimatum that day: either she stop doing magic or I would leave. She couldn't do it. She only lasted about twelve hours, and I left. I left her, Buffy, and I never once asked why she used the magic or tried to help her find a way to control it. I just left."
Buffy reached across the tiny table and took the crying girl's hand. "We all made mistakes, Tara. We just have to find a way to fix things. Is there a way to help Wills get this stuff under control?"
"Y-yes," Tara sniffed. "We ha-have to find her a teacher, another witch who can train her in controlling her emotions and her magic."
"Can't you do that?"
The witch laughed. "Maybe before the warlock speeded up her magical growth rate. But not now. Willow's too strong for me. She's always had amazing potential, and we were working on the proper controls." She shrugged and looked away.
Buffy's eyes narrowed. "You're not telling me something." Tara hid behind her hair and didn't answer. "I wonder...Oh, my God, Tara. It was because she used Dark Magic to resurrect me, isn't it? That's when all of this got started."