Finding Her Way Home
by rebelrsr
Chapter 3
[reviews]
Disclaimer: All things Buffy belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and lots of people in expensive suits. I'm not making any money here, just trying to create a happier Buffyverse for my favorite characters.
A/N: Character thoughts are enclosed by **. Flashbacks are enclosed by //. Thanks to Zenithar for the beta and encouragement! Thanks to Zigpal for the continuing support and suggestions. I couldn't do it without you.
Archiving: By permission only.
Buffy stared across the table at the curtain of blonde hair. "Tara, what happened to Willow when she brought me back?" She fought to keep from screaming the words.
"I don't really know, Buffy. But the spell she used called on the God Osiris. Sh-she was actually channeling him at one point."
"How could you not know? Weren't you there?
It didn't seem possible, but Tara pulled even further into herself. "We were there, but Willow was really the only one involved in the spell. The r-rest of us j-just provided the props."
"Could Osiris have done something to Willow during the spell?" Buffy felt cold, numbness spreading to all of her limbs. *Dear God, how do I fix this? She put her life, maybe even her soul, on the line to bring me back.*
The witch finally raised her head. "It's possible, Buffy, but I don't think that's what happened."
"You don't think? What's that supposed to mean? Damn it, Tara, are you telling me that Will could be controlled by some God?" The Slayer thought she might be sick. Willow, her Willow, could not be a reincarnation of Osiris. "If Osiris did do something to Will, wouldn't there be some obvious thing that points out 'I've been touched by Osiris?'"
"B-Buffy, I ca-can't say for sure. It is po-possible that some of Osiris' essence got a hold on Willow. But, we knew going into the spell that possession was one of the risks. Willow and I did our best to set up wards. We used all the safeguards we could think of to protect Willow. It's just with any casting things can go wrong."
"Tara, not really wanting to interrupt, but what the hell is a ward?" Buffy clenched her teeth. *What the hell were they thinking when they did this spell? My God, no way am I worth this kind of risk.*
"Oh, sorry." The blonde witch blushed. "It's a magical, um, well force field. It keeps the witch protected from external magical forces. I'm pretty sure that Osiris wasn't able to mark Willow."
Buffy slumped in her chair at the statement. Some of the adrenaline rush slowing down at Tara's reassurance. "OK. So, you don't think Will's problem started with Osiris. But," her heartbeat picked up again, "you don't know for sure. Is there a way to find out, once and for all? 'Cause you do remember what happened the last time we fought a god?"
Tara paled and shuddered as memories of Glory surfaced. After a minute, though, she glanced at Buffy thoughtfully. "Um, I sup-suppose we could find someone to do a deep scan of Willow's aura. Th-that would show if anything or anyone other than Willow was occupying her mind."
Buffy sprang to her feet. *OK. Good. Now we have a plan. I do better with plans.* "Great. Who do we need to talk to?" She bounced impatiently on her toes, waiting on Tara's answer.
The other blonde stared at her in shock. "It's not that simple, Buffy." She gestured at the chair next to the Slayer. "Please, sit down. Let me try and explain this a little more."
Grimacing in irritation, Buffy dropped back into her seat. She crossed her arms and glared across the table at the older girl. "OK. Explain it to me slowly, in simple language," she ground out. "What is wrong with Willow, and how do we fix it?"
Tara took a deep breath. "OK. I c-can do th-that. But you have to let m-me do this my way." She caught the smaller girl's eye. "No interruptions. No ch-charging off before we have an idea where w-we are going. No questions until I'm finished." The witch sat back and waited for Buffy's reaction.
The Slayer placed both shaking hands flat against the tiny table. She still wanted to do — something. Inactivity was not a Slayer's friend. But Tara had a point. They really needed to figure out what was wrong with Willow and have a plan before moving forward.
***
Willow leaned toward the warmth of the fire and watched her audience. So far, so good. "Anyway," she continued her story, "I bounced into the library and Giles, Xander, and Buffy just kinda stared at me. I mean, I was acting a bit giddy, but...As I got closer, all three of them rushed at me. Xander had this big cross Giles kept in the stacks in case of emergency. He holds it out and yells, 'Back. Get back, demon.' I just looked at him like he was possessed again, and he pulled the cross back and shook it a little. Like you do when your pen runs out of ink. Then he shoves it back in my face. I don't know how long he would have stayed like that, but Buffy walked over with this scary look on her face. 'Willow, you're alive.' I thought she was crazy, so I asked, 'Aren't I usually?'"
The redhead paused for effect. "Then things got really strange."
A couple of chuckles floated out of the darkness outside the fire's glow.
"Xander and Buffy grabbed me in a big hug. I mean, it wasn't like we never touched each other, but I was pretty sure broken ribs were a possibility. Finally, they let go. And then Giles hugged me. Ribs be damned, all three of them were seriously freaking me out. So I asked, 'Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?'"
This time, outright laughter filled the night air. "Yeah, it was lame, but I didn't know what else could be wrong with them. Finally, they explained about Vamp Me. Wow, I didn't know what to say. It got worse, though. Angel came in and said I, or rather, Vamp Me had taken a bunch of hostages at the Bronze." She shrugged slightly, staring at the hands resting on her knees. "We didn't know what we were going to do with my alter-ego, but we couldn't let her kill all those people. Buffy and the gang grabbed weapons and headed out. I stayed behind to check on something. That's when the night went beyond weird and became big with the ewww."
She took a sip of her beer. "Vamp Me was in the library and she had more than just killing on her mind." Willow grinned in remembrance. "Seems my skanky, leather wearing double thought getting it on with me was a hot idea."
Groans and shouts followed her last statement.
"Hey, not kidding. She kept purring and licking my neck. Do you have any idea just how disturbing that was?" she asked. "Anyway, she got kinda pissed when I turned down her offer to 'be bad.' Luckily, she threw me over the check out desk and I was able to get the tranq gun and shoot her. We locked her in the book cage and I couldn't stop staring at her. I mean, it was me, but it wasn't. I remember whispering to Buffy that my vampire self was so evil and kind of gay."
Drew piped in from behind, "Wow, never saw that one coming."
"Yeah." Another voice chimed in. "Do we even want to know why there was a tranquilizer gun in the school library?"
She straightened out her legs, stretching. Morgan smiled encouragingly from one side. Willow glanced around the bonfire. Most of the people were in shadow. Her moms were cuddled close, watching her intently. "It was fairly obvious that Vamp Me didn't mind a few sexual adventures. Real me, on the other hand, couldn't say the word sex without blushing to match my hair. To be honest, I think I was most wigged by the fact that my alter ego was at least bisexual if not openly gay. I was dating a guy at the time — a guy who happened to be a werewolf. In fact, he was the reason for the tranq gun." Willow hoped that Alex was still in the crowd. If she still wanted to date after this little tale, she might not be shocked at the rest of Willow's strange life. "Now I had to worry that maybe, just maybe, Oz wasn't what I really wanted."
The young witch realized silence had descended around the bonfire. *Oops. Forgot this was supposed to be lighthearted and funny. Time to move past my own sexual inadequacies.* "So, we left Vamp Me in the book cage, with one minor alteration. She was now wearing my pink fuzzy sweater with the row of daisies on the collar. And I was decked out in a herd-full of leather." She zipped through the strategy session outside the Bronze, and didn't slow down until she marched into the temporary vamp lair. "I sort of waved at the vampire who opened the door and chirped, 'Hi, I'm back.' If they had been even slightly smarter than shoe strings, I would have been dead right there.
Despite the humor of the remembered situation, Willow was starting to feel depressed. She missed the closeness she'd shared with Buffy and the gang. She didn't want to disappoint her family, though, so she shook off her feelings, and continued. "Well, I did my best to keep everyone alive, but somehow Anya figured me out." The redhead shrugged. "Must have been my idea to let all the hostages go and give them a 30 second head start before we hunted them down. It was a good plan!" she insisted to the audience. "But, no one else liked it. So, I was trapped in a nest of hungry vamps. I did the only thing a well trained Slayerette could do in that situation." She paused for effect. "I screamed. Buffy and the gang came storming in and the vampires all went 'poof.'"
"What about Vamp Willow?" someone shouted.
Willow couldn't make out the speaker, but she was pretty sure it was Alex asking the question. "Ah, well, she got to the Bronze in time to kick my ass and nearly strangle me to death. Buffy saved the day, as usual. But, neither one of us could kill me, even Vamp Me. So we did a spell to send her back to her world. I think she was glad to leave; she said this world wasn't much fun. Of course, she couldn't leave without one last come on — she groped me when I gave her a hug."
***
Finally finished with her tale, Willow leaned back and listened to a group of kids telling traditional ghost stories. The whole night felt surreal. She glanced around at her family. Her family — she still kept looking for Buffy and the Scoobies. She needed another drink. As the young witch stood up, the flickering orange from the fire dimmed and went grey. Time seemed to freeze. The redhead started to panic. The magic inside her built; she could feel the energy pulsing through her. Struggling to push the power back behind her shielding, Willow closed her eyes. It was no use. The energy swelled a final time; just at the point the redhead thought she might black out from the strain, the magic spewed out.
Willow opened her eyes to more grey. But the shadowed world wasn't the revelry at her parents' ranch. The witch found herself standing inside the Espresso Pump in Sunnydale, watching her ex-girlfriend and her best friend.