The Princess Bride
by Whedonist
Chapter 5
[reviews]
Chapter 5
The plan was set, the pieces in place and the three people involved were currently putting the finishing touches on all that was to be done.
Willow made a point to look at the two, "You do know that I will need a sword eventually."
Angel looked skeptical at the redhead, "You can't even lift one, why?"
"True, but that's hardly common knowledge. I'm a pirate, look at my outfit! You have to maintain some face while being the Dread Pirate Roberts." Willow's impassioned statement fell short as her head fell to the side and Xander was needed to put it upright.
Angel sighed and conceded, "As soon as we find a lone sword, it's yours."
"Thank you. Now once we are inside there might be some problems."
"I'll say," Angel looked contemplative for a moment, "Once inside, how do I find the countess? Once I do, how do I find you again? Once I find you again, how do we make our escape?"
Xander hit Angel lightly, "Don't pester her; she's had a hard day."
Angel nodded and smiled apologetically, "Right, right, sorry."
The three made to move across the castle wall to the supplies. The plan was to enter from the south portion of the gate and wreak havoc on the men guarding the gate. The leader, who Angel had pointed out to be a sniveling little man by the name of Warren, was to have hold of the key needed to get inside. The plan was to scare the pants off the men and then go straight for Warren.
"Angel?" Xander whispered.
"What?"
"I hope we win."
Willow heard the talk and smiled. She couldn't help but like the two. She had remembered fighting them before and it was why she hadn't killed them. There was an intense need to befriend the two she found herself with. "Don't worry Xand, I've got it all under control." Willow tried to pat his shoulder, but found her hand uncooperative.
**********************************************************************************************************
Inside the castle, Buffy was dressed for the wedding. The gown was a pure white with intricate designs along the neck line and cuffs. As much as she loved the dress, she could not be happy wearing it. She knew in her gut that Willow would come for her. She knew because Willow had made her a promise. It was supposed to be. She felt Spike come behind her and felt the cold pearls hit her neck. She shivered from his touch and hoped that all of this would be over shortly.
Spike noticed the look in his bride's eyes and said, "You don't seem excited pet."
She stared in to the mirror to meet his gaze, "Should I be?"
Despite the fact that he was going to kill her tonight, the pull in his groin told him that he would take the rights due him as her husband before dispatching her. Instead of the visceral reaction, he went for a sly smile, "Brides often are, I'm told."
"I'm not marrying you tonight. Why don't you understand?" A calm over took her as she said, "My Willow will come for me tonight."
**********************************************************************************************************
Angel, Xander and Willow were just outside of the south entrance of the wall. They peered around the corner to see the men standing there looking bored and put out. Willow couldn't help but think that maybe this was going to be easier than she thought.
"Okay boys, this is it. You two ready?"
Angel put his hand out which Xander quickly covered with his own. Willow didn't want to be left out, but as she tried to raise her hand she found that it wouldn't move the way she wanted. She rocked her body back and forth and got the arm to swing up and land on top of Xander's.
"Alright then, let's go." She smiled at the two and off they went.
**********************************************************************************************************
The church the wedding was being held in was gorgeous. The high ceilings and stained glass was more welcoming than anything. Buffy didn't care much for churches or religion for that matter. It had always caused a slight case of the "wiggins" as Willow had called it. These thoughts ran through her head and made her smile at the thought of her pirate. She was coming, Buffy could feel it. So it was with a calmness and assuredness rarely seen by someone in her position that she rose from her place in front of the priest with Spike on her right.
Buffy also had a hard time concealing her shock at the priest. His skin was folding and flaking giving him the appearance of a wrinlkie dog she had once seen a drawing of. Not only was his skin in horrible shape, but he spoke with a serious speech impediment. Spike had told her that Bishop Clem had baptized him and that as long as he could remember the man had been like that. The princess took Father Clem at face value and let it go.
Father Clem's voice rang out, "Mawedge, mawedge is what bwings us together today. Mawedge is that dweam wiffim a dweam" He stopped as the yelling out side grew louder.
A voice from the gates below rang out, "Stand your ground men!" More commotion could be heard as Clem looked to Spike for confirmation to continue.
**********************************************************************************************************
Willow was behind Xander who was standing on the wheelbarrow draped in the cloak. Angel was pushing them towards the gate unseen by the men standing guard. He grunted and heaved under the weight of the two he was pushing.
Xander looked out at the men and couldn't help but smirk at the fear plastered across their faces. He dropped his voice and screamed out. "I AM THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS. THERE WILL BE NO SURVIVORS!" The men began to back up at the sound of Xander's voice. A few on the front lines dropped any weapon they were holding and ran away. Xander let out a harsh laugh as he continued, "MY MEN ARE HERE AND I AM HERE, BUT SOON YOU WON'T BE! THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS TAKES NO PRISONERS!"
Warren watched in horror as the cloaked giant appeared to float closer and closer to the castle gates. His voice was feeble and lame as he yelled at the men to keep their ground. The battle was lost soon after as the figure appeared to burst into flames. The laugh emanating from the figure on fire chilled the man to the bone. He could no longer stand it as he turned and headed for the gate.
"THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS TAKES NO SURVIVORS! ALL YOUR WORST NIGHTMARES ARE ABOUT TO COME TRUE!"
The remaining guards fled leaving the three to only deal with Warren who was currently hanging on to the gate for dear life.
**********************************************************************************************************
Inside the chapel, Spike had begun to perspire. His nervousness was not lost on Buffy. She could only smile triumphantly as the screams continued from outside.
"Here comes my Willow."
Spike had removed a ring and looked down at the blonde, "Your Willow is dead." Spike took the ring and shoved it on Buffy's finger.
Buffy could only smile and shake her head in disagreement.
"I killed the redheaded bint myself!"
"Then why do you look so scared Spikey?"
The prince bristled at the name. He wasn't clear what gave his fear away, but he shot a look to Darla and the countess took off with her four henchmen in tow.
**********************************************************************************************************
Xander had a hold of Warren and was shaking the man for the key to the gate.
Willow was propped up by Angel and asked, "Where is the gate key?"
Warren stammered, "I have no gate key."
Angel was in no mood to be toyed with, "Xander tear his arms off!"
Xander went to comply when Warren removed the key from under his shirt. All three smiled at the weak man.
"Oh, you mean this gate key?" Warren extended the key to Angel who took it before the man's arm was completely extended.
Angel nodded to Xander. The giant took a large hand and thumped Warren upside the head. The man crumpled and fell.
**********************************************************************************************************
Clem's voice rang out in the chapel, "And do you Pwincess Bwuffwee..."
Through gritted teeth Spike forced Clem to rush through the rest of the ceremony, "Man and wife! Just say man and wife."
"Mwan and Wife."
Spike spun around to his parents, "Escort the bride to the Honeymoon suite, I'll be there shortly."
With that Spike took off out of the chapel.
"She didn't come." Tears filled the princess's eyes as she felt the king take her by the arm and guide her down the hall.
**********************************************************************************************************
Willow and the two men were currently running through the castle halls. Darla was stopped just ahead of them in a pentagon shaped corridor. The countess looked confused, but spun around just in time to see the three people encroaching.
Willow could not get a better grip on the sword she took from Warren, but she held on even as it drug the floor. She knew she was going to need it before the night would end. Admittedly being on the back of Xander was not the most comfortable position to be in. She yearned to be able to move on her own. She felt strength coming back to her, but not quickly enough. She mused that being mostly dead surly took a lot out of one's self.
Darla smiled at the three and ordered her men, "Kill the giant and the redhead, but leave the other for questioning."
The four attacked in a flurry of thrusts and parry's. Angel didn't blink as he entered the fray. Darla's goons were good, but Angel was better. He knocked the first one he reached on unconscious while driving his sword through two of the goons at once. The fourth attacked separately, but met the same fate as the first. He was sprawled out on the floor before he knew what hit him. Angel stood triumphantly in the center of the quick skirmish with a wicked look set to his features.
Darla gaped at the display. Her sword was at the ready and she didn't know what course of action to take. Deciding on the adage that it was better to live and fight another day then die foolishly, she did the only thing that came to mind. She turned heel and ran away.
Angel watched the retreating back of Darla for only a moment in surprise at her actions. The thought of who that was suddenly kicked back into his brain and he ran after her down a hall. He saw the countess slam a door down the hall to the right and he quickly made his way to try and shove the door open. The thing would not budge. He rammed against it, once, twice and the third time was more out of desperation. A strangled cry came forth, "Xander I need you!"
Xander yelled back, "I can't leave Willow alone!"
"Please Xand, she's getting away. Please!"
Xander looked around and saw a place where he could prop Willow up. He set her down and ran to Angel. He took his hand and shoved against the wood ripping the door off its hinges with ease.
Angel turned to his friend and smiled his thanks before taking off after the countess.
**********************************************************************************************************
Buffy was being led by King Flutey and his queen. She was still in shock that Willow had not come. She was so sure of it, but here she was married to Spike. The nausea rolled in her stomach. She knew what she needed to do.
King Flutey smiled and patted Buffy's arm, "Strange wedding."
"Yes," The queen replied, "a very strange wedding indeed. Come along dear."
Buffy stopped and gently placed a kiss on the king's cheek, "You've been nothing but sweet to me since I came here. I just wanted to thank you for that. Your kindness has made this ordeal slightly bearable."
"Thank you, but what was that for?"
"I won't be seeing you after tonight. I'm going to kill myself."
The king's hearing wasn't so good and not wanting to upset the bride, patted her arm and grinned, "That's nice." Continuing the walk to the room, "She kissed me." He pointed to his cheek and chuckled the rest of the way.
**********************************************************************************************************
Xander walked back to the corridor to grab Willow, but when he returned the redhead was no where to be seen. He muttered under his breath and went off in search of his new friend.
**********************************************************************************************************
Angel was close on the heels of Darla. He could nearly smell her fear and he rejoiced. His father would soon be avenged and his soul could rest. The burden had weighed heavily on the Irishman and tonight it would be done with. They rounded a corner and raced down steps. Darla spun on her heels in the dining hall of the castle throwing a dagger she had hidden in her dress.
Angel saw the dagger too late, even as he tried to avoid the weapon it stuck clean in to his stomach. He fell back against the wall from the pain. His eyes teared up and he clutched at the knife. Blood spilt over his hands and he whispered as the room began to lose focus, "I'm sorry father...I tried...I tried"
Darla let the cruel smile play over her features as she saw the life slip from her pursuer. She stared at the marks on Angel's face as recognition dawned on her. "You must be that little Irish brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago." She slipped her gloves off and laid them on the table. "It's simply incredible. Have you been chasing me your whole life only to fail now? I think that's the worst thing I've ever heard. How marvelous." She clapped her hands together in delight and advanced on the dying swordsman.
**********************************************************************************************************
Buffy shut the door on the king and queen. She turned to the desk and removed a jewel handled dagger. Letting her resolve settle in, she placed the knife to her chest.
Willow watched as Buffy entered and didn't notice the pirate propped up on the headboard. She avoided saying anything until she saw the knife pressed against Buffy's chest. "There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours. I should also tell you now before you continue, that I am a certified breast girl."
Buffy whirled around and couldn't contain the excitement at seeing Willow laying there with a devilish grin. She dropped the knife and ran to the bed. The blonde took Willow's head in her hands and crushed their lips together. She then took to kissing every square inch of Willow's beautiful face. "Willow." Kiss. "Baby, why won't you hold me?" Kiss.
"Gently Buff."
"At," kiss, "a time like," kiss, "this that's all you," kiss, "can say?" kiss.
Hissing in pain, Willow tried again, "Gently!"