Re: ff: Stay (part 5 of CD series)

["uj18" <uj18@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Hi,
Could you send me part 4 of this series.
I'd appreciate it.

Thanks

----- Original Message -----
From: "Clarke, Carol A - Hazelwood" <CAClarke2@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <SapphicSlayer@xxxxxxxxxxx>; <WillowSlash@xxxxxxxxxxx>;
<buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Tuesday, February 22, 2000 2:57 AM
Subject: [buffywantswillow] ff: Stay (part 5 of CD series)


> From: "Clarke, Carol A - Hazelwood" <CAClarke2@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>
> Title: Stay (Part 5 of CD series)
> Rating: NC-17 R
> Disclaimer: Joss Weldon, Fox, Mutant Enemy and Shakespeare Sister it all
> belongs to them
> Music from Shakespeare Sister Hormonally Your.
> Note: I could really use some constructive feedback on this series.
>
> STAY
>
> Buffy was in the bathroom getting ready for bed. Willow grabbed a CD off
the
> rake and put it in the stereo pushing shuffle. The little witch then shut
> down her computer. Then she sat down on her bed to wait for Buffy. They
were
> going to talk if she had to chain her to the bed herself.
>
> why do I feel bitter when I should be feeling sweet
>
> The slayer had been asleep when she had returned from Tara's last night.
> When Buffy woke her up for her 8 o'clock class she had just had time to
tell
> her that she and Tara were taking some time off. They had broken up.
>
> hello, hello turn your radio on
> is there anybody out there?
>
> Buffy's only response had been "Oh". Then Riley had come to surprise her.
> Take her out for breakfast. He had been showering her with attention since
> getting out of the hospital and returning to Sunnydale. They didn't have
any
> classes together this semester so Willow hadn't seen Buffy all day.
>
> woke up this morning and my head was in a daze
> a brave new world has dawned upon the human race
> where words are meaning less and everything's surreal
>
> Surreal, like her life wasn't surreal already. But Fate was sure keeping
the
> slayer and witch apart today when she needed to talk with Buffy more then
> ever.
>
> I'm gonna have to reach my friends
> to find out how I feel
>
> She was just going to have to put her resolve face on. She had to reach
> Buffy. Willow knew Buffy loved her. It wasn't even a question at this
point.
> But what exactly did that mean. Would there be touching involved because
> Willow wanted there to be touching involved.
>
> and if I taste the honey is it really sweet
> and do I eat it with my hands or with my feet?
> (Hello {Turn Your Radio On})
>
> Naughty bad bad wonderful thoughts were rushing Willow's head were she
heard
> Buffy slip into the room and began to put away her things. Buffy knew the
> expression behind those green eyes and though she was afraid she looked
> forward to someday, somehow losing her soul in those eyes.
>
> black sky blue world green eyes
> no peace for the wicked
> no rest for the good
> no use in pretending
> (Black Sky)
>
> "Yes" the slayer thought listening to the words of the song. No more
> pretending. No more hiding. She had spend too many years trying to be want
> other people wanted. The slayer just couldn't go on faking it.
>
> she likes to wake up and just fake it
> she knows if she touches it she'll break it
>
> The slayer took a sit on her bed facing Willow. For the first time in a
long
> time she was looking forward to the future. Looking to do something more
> with her life then dying the good slayer. She was going to live. To love.
To
> love this women before her.
>
> and the ground beneath her feet is shaking
>
> She was shaking the tree and the ground was thundering beneath her feet.
The
> women, the slayer, Buffy were becoming one, no longer afraid of the
future.
>
> just when you think she's wearing thin
> she's walking out with the biggest man you've seen
>
> Buffy had told Willow how she felt. She had talked with her mother about.
> With Giles and Xander. And she had spent most of the day with Riley trying
> to make him understand. She was changing her destiny and not looking back.
>
> you're never gonna see my face again
> it took some time so here I am
>
> It wasn't without cost. And she really didn't know were the future would
> take her. But one thing for sure. Childhood Buffy was dead. Not all that
> made her happy. She really did like Riley. She loved his cock. How alive
it
> made her feel. The way Angel had made her feel.
>
> it must have left you feeling sick and twisted
> bye bye my old friend
>
> you're never gonna see my face again
>
> There was always a cost. Tara, Riley. Even Angel. But there was no going
> back the slayer thought.
>
> you left me outside in the rain
> so bye bye
> I said bye bye
> (Goodbye Cruel World)
>
> "Will, I told Riley about us today. Will about how I want us to be. I hope
> that's ok." Buffy said hoping Willow wouldn't be angry with her.
> "That kind of a surprise. How did he take it."
>
> she loves to entertain you
> but she charges by the hour
>
> "I don't know really. Riley's kind of interceptive. Truthfully I think it
> upset him more because I told him I'm Bisexually then that it was you I
was
> in love with."
> "Will, you never told me about you and Tara? What happened?"
>
> of faith and hope I stand
> while you are buried in the mess
> of weeds you sowed by hand
>
> "She took it better then I expected. But I know she was hurt. She also
said
> something about a spell to make you grow hair on your chest. Really I
think
> she was expecting it from the start. Tara is big with self confidence."
> "She was serious about the spell thing was she." The worry slayer asked
> checking her beast under her shirt.
>
> but if you want to trust someone
> well how about me
>
> "Buffy, Tara's not like that. But I still feel bad for hurting her. When I
> told her, all she asked was to make love to me one last time. Buffy she
was
> so gentle. And after I looked at her and she had this tears in her eyes. I
> know I really hurt her."
>
> is your soul for hire
>
> "I know Will, but she live through it. It might have been worse if it had
> lasted longer. At least Tara isn't going to freak and become evil and kill
> people. She's be ok."
>
> she offered you a dream
> but it turned into a coma
> well there are no inbetweens
>
> "Sorry I was thinking about Faith. The spell reference you made got me
thing
> about her. I wanted to tell you so bad at the time but I was so afraid
that
> you all would hate me. Think I had fucked another Angelus into your life.
> When I told Faith I couldn't take her abuse anymore, that I wanted to move
> on she threatened me with a spell."
>
> but love's an added extra
>
> "Buffy, you know you could have told me about it. I would have listened."
> "No I couldn't. Willow I have been in love with you for almost 4 years and
I
> couldn't even look you in the eye. Well not when I thought you were
looking.
> I wasn't reading for it then but I think I am now. I have never trusted
> anyone as much as I trust you."
>
> don't you want to put your trust in
> someone who's not ordinary
> don't you want to put your trust in someone like me.
> (Let Me Entertain You)
>
> Willow leaned over and kissed Buffy's check then returned to her bed. They
> had a little more talking to do and the red head wanted to get it over
with
> so they could move on to the good, or was that naughty stuff.
> "Ok, Buffy I understand why you couldn't tell me about Faith then but
maybe
> you should tell me about it now."
> Really isn't that much to tell." The slayer said but she body language
told
> another story. Buffy was trying to listen to the music to keep the
memories
> back but they flooded in and filled her with terror.
>
> but on this planet where do I fit in?
> I could be in trouble or just imaging
> sometimes I feel like an alien
>
> Faith came at a time when I still hurt like hell over Angel. And his
> returning from hell just made the pain worse. I felt like an alien around
> you guys. Xander had Cordilia and you had Oz. I was 5th wheel Buffy. I
felt
> like no one would ever love me again.
>
> the world out there
>
> "So Faith showed up. Another slayer who understood some of the things I
was
> feeling. We both had lost people we cared about. Both lost a watcher. But
> living with all the people we could save. For the first time I felt like
> someone knew what I was feeling. How alone it feels to be the slayer. Ok
so
> I was self-pity Buffy, sue me I'm human. "
>
> oh little moonchild
> you're not the only one!
>
> Faith and I started talking about stuff. Nothing important. Faith was
> nothing like Kendra and I had never meet someone so open like her. And
Faith
> could read me like a book. All her sex talk, was to bring me out. Get me
to
> admit I was into girls too. Faith could work vulgar and make it pay. Her
and
> Howard Stern.
>
> I look at the world from another star
> that's when you discover who you really are
> so if you think you'd like the taste
> you know there's not much time to waste.
> (Moonchild)
>
> "Ok Buffy I understand all that, but you haven't told me about you and
> Faith, the sexual years." The witch prompted.
> "Well one day after school before it got dark enough to go on patrol.
Faith
> started talking about slayers not having much time to live. About how I
had
> died already once.
>
> things were going pretty well 'till I died
> on that summer afternoon
> when you broke down before my eyes
>
> And should I live a little and try everything before it was slayer's
nothing
> Vampire score. It was one of her better arguments. And then pushed me
> against the wall and kissed me for a couple of hours. Sometime on patrol
> that night she pushed me over a tombstone, slide my panties down and
taught
> me a new way of kissing I had never before experienced."
>
> well I got a streak of meanness
> a clumsy way of speaking
> and I don't know where I get it from
> it must run in my family
>
> "In the cemetery Buffy?"
> "Faith was never a great romantic. She would take me anywhere and did.
Trust
> me you don't want to know."
> "And you liked this, what Faith did to you"
> "At first. Willow I really figured I was going to die any day and I didn't
> want to die alone and unloved. "
> "At first, what about later."
> "At first I didn't know Faith was insane or maybe I did but didn't want to
> admit it. She could make the strangest things seem wise or normal. And I
> would just go along with it. "
> Tears began to flow down Buffy's face and Willow moved beside her. "Tell
me
> Buffy. I want to know."
>
> do I have to go down on my knees?
> this is my 16th apology to you
> with friends like me who needs enemies
>
> "She started blaming me for little things. Nothing big or important so I
> would apologize to her. Try and make it up to her. Then she would get
angry
> and this river of rage would flow over her. It scared me, Will.
>
> I got a river inside the size of my rage
> which is really something else
> when you think of my tender age
>
> "And you thought it was your fault Buffy. I see Xander's parents do that
all
> the time."
> "I wanted to love her so bad, I really believed it was my fault."
> "How often did she it you?
> "I never said she hit me."
> "you never said she didn't, Buffy I was there. You were twice the slayer
she
> was but you also had twice the bruises. Even then I wondered if they were
> all from Vamps and sparing."
>
> but it's hard for me to see it
> and I don't know when I'm in the wrong
> why am I so hard to please?
>
> "It really was my fault most of the time. She keep trying to practice with
> me and when I beat her. She didn't take it well. I started just letting
her
> win the matches but she knew and that just made her madder."
> "Did she ever choke you like Xander?'
> "No- I never felt like she really was trying to hurt me. We were slayers
we
> could take it."
> "So what did she do to you? Buffy you need to tell to somebody."
> "Nothing really. Hit me at weird time. Once she spanked me. Another time
she
> used her belt. But mostly she just hit me. Faith was not one for planing.
> She would hit me. I would cry and then beg her to forgive me for something
> that I had know idea about.'
>
> do I have to go down on my knees?
> this is my 16th apology to you
> with friends like me who needs enemies
> (my 16th apology)
>
> "So then what happened?"
> "She killed the deputy mayor. It really was an accident. And I could have
> lived with that. I was partially responsible too. I was there. But then I
> went to her motel room and she was washing out the blond. I will never
> forget the look in her eyes.
>
> it's just another day in this crazy place
> do you ever feel like you're losing the rave
> we're all on the same long road
>
> "It was like some one had pulled the blinder's off. I knew that moment she
> was too far gone to reach. Still I did true Will, I really did try. I
> thought maybe I could get her to stop and come back to me." The slayer
> laughed a sad laugh and continued.
> "Will, you know what she said to me? She said "So are we in love yet B,
> think Giles will walk you down the aisle?
>
> are we in love yet?
> don't you know that's what it's all about
> are we in love yet?
> don't you know that's what makes the world turn round.
>
> So after I she saved my life I knew I couldn't reach her. I told her we
were
> through. She said "good. "And everything was ok for a while. She sleep
with
> Xander. And yes I knew she loved to tell me about anyone she slept with,
> even when we were dating. I don't thing Faith really knew how to love. Sex
> she knew, but not love.
>
> cos love makes you love somebody
> love turns you into somebody
> (are we in love yet)
>
> "And you were ok with it. Her sleep with other people."
> "Willow I liked her, needed her but neither Faith nor I loved each other.
> Which was why we were together. All part of that slayer deathwish thing I
> guess."
>
> some people say he has a deathwish
> trouble is he tends to agree
> let's not ask to many questions
>
> "Slayer death wish?"
> "Something Faith talked about. It was up there with her "want, take, have
> theory. Now it's easy for me to see that Faith was very messed up. You
know
> I don't even know her last name. But then I was too close to it."
>
> the trouble with andre
> is he thinks he hides everything
> (the trouble with andre)
> "I was so jealousy of her. I don't think I ever hated anyone as much as I
> hated Faith."
> "If it's any consolation, Faith pretty much hated herself even more then
> your hated her."
>
> Walking through the rooms in my head
> I came across your image
> You looked at me with that sweet smile and said
> Something they won't let me repeat
> We hurt the ones we love the most
> It's a subtle form of compliment
>
> "I never wanted you to find out. Giles, Xander I didn't care. I think
> Cordilia bumped into us behind the Brozen once. But I never wanted to hurt
> you and I know I did. I am so sorry.
>
> I don't care if you talk about me
> I don't care if you write it out in stone
> whenever I fall I land on my feet
> I don't care, I just don't care
>
> Will, I'm sorry about Tara as well. I feel like a heel. I wait until you
> meet this wonderful girl and then I go all "I love you" It wasn't fair. I
> didn't plan it. It just happened.
>
> we hurt the ones we love the most
> it's a subtle form of discipline
>
> Seems we have spend most of our time at cross purposes, Buffy. I'm sorry
> about Tara too. I like her a lot. I owe her so much. But I don't really
care
> now if I can have you. If you want me.
>
> I don't care if you take if out on me
> I've got 9 lives and I land on my feet
> I don't care, I just don't care (I
> don't care)
>
> Seems like I've been wanting you all my life. I could die happy with your
> lips against mine.
>
> I was floating around the atmosphere
> I liked what I saw so I came down here
> I was looking for something
>
> Willow pushed Buffy onto her back on the bed then pressed her lips against
> Buffy's. The mighty slayer shuttered and gasp.
>
> now peace and love like a willow tree
> have hung their heads and wept for me
> and I'm looking for someone
> (Catwoman)
>
> "Willow make love to me?" Buffy said before pressing back into the kiss.
>
> I've seen the world from a first class seat
> I've read the bitch and ulysses
>
>
> Willow began pulling at Buffy's clothes. Hurriedly taking them off. The
> place between her legs burned with unfilled desire, causing the witch to
> panic and tug at her new lovers clothes.
>
> It's just a suicidal whim
> But I can't resist
>
> Buffy felt the need as well and pushed Willow away and pulled her own
cloths
> off then started on the shaking witch.
>
> an emotional thing an emotional thing
>
> Willow gained control of her emotions and made her way back on Buffy. They
> had waited a life time for this, but Willow knew with a certainty it was a
> good thing they waited until they had grown up.
>
> no juvenile delinquent heat
> I don't have to tell ya where I'm from
> if I leave my cat suit on
> (emotional thing)
>
> Now there were no juvenile expressions need to complete their education.
> They could be themselves and learn to love each other for the right
reasons.
> The reasons that would out last a life time.
>
> if this world is wearing thin
> and you're thinking of escape
> I'll go anywhere with you
> I'll do anything it takes
> but if you try to go alone
> don't think I'll understand
>
> Willow slipped two fingers in as she sucked on the slayers neck, against
the
> pulse point. Buffy moaned in pleasure then she grabbed Willows hand
stopping
> it. "Will, I will never forgive if you leave me. You can see other people.
> Fuck who ever you want. Just never leave me. I need you in my life even if
> it's just as a friend. I couldn't make it without you."
>
> stay with me, stay with me
>
> Willow pushed Buffy's hand away gently and began to trust into her love
> again. Buffy I will stay with you forever. I know we have a lot of things
to
> talk about still but just lay back and let me make love to you. Let me
love
> like I have dream of since the day I met you." Willow reached over and
turn
> the music up loader.
>
> in the silence of your room
> in the darkness of your schemes
> there among the souvenirs
> and the useless memories
> when your pride is on the floor
> I'll make you beg for more
>
> stay with me, stay with me
> (Stay)
>
> Willow continued to make love to Buffy, as the music filled the room. As
> Buffy came for the first time that night students in the hall passing by
> down to the lounge were graced with not only hearing load music but with
the
> voice of the slayer panting out "Stay with me, Stay with me Will."
> The students of Stevenson Hall hear that song and at least two different
> women's voice cry out in joy the same works to the song. "Stay with me."
>
>
>
> "The extreme always gets a reaction" -Heathers
>
> "Anyone who's not having fun here, follow me." -Buffy
>
>
>
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