Buffy the Slayer Vampire
by RalfQuimby
Moonlight Picnic
[reviews]
Moonlight Picnic
TITLE: BtSV:Moonlight Picnic
AUTHOR: Ralf Quimby
ARCHIVE:Be my guest. Just let me know.
DISCLAIMER:Joss invented the people and places. I am just borrowing them.
"A picnic?" Buffy asks, a little surprised. They are on patrol in the North Cemetery.
"It's the middle of the night."
"Yup, a picnic." responds her partner, spreading a cloth on a large flat headstone. "We
can't do it in the day. So under a full moon is just as good. As well as being romantic."
"Well it is a quiet night." says the Slayer Vampire. "What's in the basket?"
"Chicken, potato salad and lemon-aide." Willow grins. "I know it's all junk food to you,
but you still enjoy it. Besides I think you will like dessert."
They sit and eat. Buffy eats a little while Willow eats a lot.
"I heard from Dad." comments Buffy. "He is seeing someone."
"Oh, any one we know?" she inquires. "Not Faith I hope."
"A policewoman named Kate." she is told.
Willow takes a container out of the basket, opens and turns it upsidedown on a plate. She
hands the plate with its wriggling red mass to her wife.
"Ooo... Jello!" Buffy was enthralled with it. "I like to watch it wiggle." She finally
eats a bite and her eyebrows go up. "This isn't cherry." she grins taking another bite.
"Nope." say the witch grinning back. "You have no idea how hard it is to get gelatin to
jell without the blood going bad."
"Well, it is excellent!" says the slayer vampire, finishing off her Jello. "Now for the
main course."
"Why whatever do you mean?" asks Willow, with an innocent look.
They get interrupted when Buffy's vamp-radar goes off.
She looks over and sighs, "Hello Harmony."
"Hello, c-could I have a bite ,please?" she pleads, pointing at Willow. "I haven't had a
square meal since Spike left."
"Keep your fangs off my wife!" growls Buffy, her face changing.
"Wha-. I know! You can be my minion, and I will show you how to survive as a vampire."
exclaims the very blonde vampire. "Then we can take over Sunnydale."
Buffy and Willow look at each other and burst into hysterical laughter. While they are
giggling Harmony sneaks up and bites Willow on the neck. She gets two good swallows before
she tastes what she is drinking. She quickly runs behind a large stone holding her mouth.
The couple smirk at each other as they hear retching from behind the head-stone.
"Eww! Harmony spit." Willow grimaces wiping her neck.
"Let me help." says Buffy, wiping her with a damp napkin. "All better."
They start to kiss when Harmony stands up.
"What is wrong with her?" she demands. "That was the worst--" When she sees Buffy start to
bite Willow she doubles over and heaves again.
"C'mon, Harm." sighs the Slayer Vampire. She looks at her wife. "I will probably regret
this."
They take her to Willy's and set her up with a bottle of blood.
"What is this?" she asks after the first sip. "It tastes almost as bad as her."
"You asked for human." says the new bartender. "You got human."
They look at him. He has huge ears that take up the whole side of his large lumpy head.
His nose is flat and ridged. His teeth are uneven and sharp. But he still recognisable
as--
"Principal Snyder?" all three chorus.
"Summers, Rosenburg. Still up to no good I see." comes the response.
"What happened?" asked Willow. "We thought the mayor ate you."
"He did. I felt myself changing before I blacked out." he explains. "Then he spit me out.
Then the school blew up. Why am I explaining to you anyway? You probably did it."
"Uhh, well." Buffy blushes.
"She sure did." answers Harmony. "I think she also chased Spike off, mean old slayer."
"Aren't you hungry, Harmony?" askes Willow. "Here is my tasty, unprotected neck just
brimming with red juicy-"
"Stop!" yells Harmony, turning green. "Do you have any blood that isn't human?" she asks
Snyder.
"Why yes we do." responds Snyder. "Some lovely rabbit blood. A real gourmet treat, so I am
told."
Harmony smiles at the inhuman visage looking at her. "Thank you."
"You know we could use a waitress as attractive as you." leers Snyder. "Do want the job?"
"How can you offer a job to her?" asks Willow. "Won't Willy object?"
"I bought this place from him." responds Snyder. "And now, my sweet, do you want that
job?"
Leaving they see the new name "Color, Charm and Spin" painted on the window.
As Buffy and Willow walk home Buffy says. "I don't know whether we did a good thing or a
bad thing, getting those two together."
"Imagine getting spit out by a giant snake demon." giggles Willow. "He must taste really
nasty."
"Forget about them." says Buffy, a gleam in her eye. "I want more Jello. You will do in a
pinch."
"In a pinch!" screeches her wife. "I'll show you a pinch." She pinches Buffy's left nipple
and runs away laughing, pursued by her grinning partner.