The Longest Night
by Casandra
Ghosts of Christmas' Past
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The Longest Night Part 2
I blink a few times trying to grasp my mind around what's happening before me in my living room. As the Slayer I've seen so many strange and unusual things in my time, I didn't think anything could surprise me anymore. I guess I was wrong. Here Ford is, dead Ford, standing in my living room looking like he just stepped into the role of Jacob Marley. Wait a second, no way, uh-uh, no way! There is no way this happening, this is way too strange, even for me!
"Hey Buffy" Ford smiles a bit and waves a bony hand in my direction.
"Ok, this isn't happening. I'm imagining things, or I'm dreaming. It's a freaking novel for God's sake!" I think I must be turning an alarming shade of red, because it suddenly feels very warm in here despite the chill that the mist around Ford carries.
"So I see you've already figured it out then. That a girl Buffy, you always were quick on the uptake," He slowly moves closer to me, his chains rattling with each step. He walks past me and sits down in the chair that I had just shot out of moments before, then motions for me to take a seat on the sofa. "I know things have been difficult for you these past few months. And I also know you feel lost and consumed by despair. The powers that be are worried that their Chosen One has given up, and that is simply unacceptable to them. There are great things in store for you Buffy, but if you continue on the path you're traveling now you'll never fully realize the potential. So this is their way of trying to help you with your problem."
"Wait a minute Ford, first of all, why did they send you?" I actually asked the question just to keep my mind from zoning out. I kind of already knew the answer, after all, Mickey's Christmas Carol always was my favorite holiday cartoon.
"I wear these chains and tattered clothes as a way to repent for the sins I committed while on the mortal plane. Apparently this is my second chance to make right what I did to you while I was alive," A guilty expression crossed his ashen features, and for the first time since the incident with Ford, I actually thought he felt bad about what he had done.
"Ok, I get that, but what exactly is going to happen? How are they going to help me?" Ok, I pretty much knew the answer to that one too.
"Oh, come on Buffy, you know exactly what's going on. But if I must explain it to you than so be it. Tonight you will be taken on a journey throughout time. You will be show glimpses, images, of Christmas' past, present and future. Your guides," he stopped at the dubious expression I knew was crossing my face.
"Guides? You mean ghosts don't you?" My voice was as sarcastic as I ever remember it being. But Ford just cast me an easy smile and continued.
"No, they aren't exactly ghosts Buffy. Your guides will have familiar faces to make the journey less unsettling. If you must, think of them more as a guiding spirit, easing you through the images that you will be shown. This journey is to show you what once was, what is now, and what still could be, if you don't change the way you have been living these last few months. A word of warning Buffy, the spirit guide of Christmas yet to come will not wear the face of someone you trust. Christmas' yet to be are the most unsettling of them all. Prepare yourself , you may not like what you see." With that last cryptic word he stood up and moved to leave, chains trailing behind him and noisily rattling across the floor. "Expect the first spirit guide at 1 o'clock . That shouldn't be a problem, I know you're such a night owl." He chuckled a bit at his bad sense of humor and then moved to leave again.
"Wait a sec, you've got to be kidding me! This is real life, not some Charles Dickens novel. A Christmas Carol was a story for God's sake!" Even though I knew what was happening, and somehow I could believe what was happening, I still wanted to know how it was happening. Ford turned back around and cast me a disbelieving look.
"Buffy, fairytale creatures have come to life and you've fought them on more than one occasion. Why is it so hard to believe that a story from a novel could be real? Besides, who said Charles Dickens wrote fiction anyway?" And with that he was gone. I think I must have stood there for a good minute with my jaw hanging wide open before I realized I was alone again. I quickly ran back and curled up into the chair I had spent the better part of the night in and wrapped the green blanket I had been using tightly around me. I loved this blanket, it was Willow's, and it always smelled like the sweet scented vanilla perfume that she wore. I grasped my mug of hot chocolate again and took a long sip before settling into the chair and waiting for the clock to strike one.
~~~~~~~~~
I didn't fall asleep, so when the digital clock clicked over to 1am my eyes were boring a hole straight through it. Just as Ford promised, as soon as the clock clicked over a warm breeze flowed into the room. As I was scanning the living room for my first 'guide' I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. I spun around in the chair and stared up at the face the spirit guide wore.
"Angel?"
"Not really little one, I just wear his face. The powers thought no one better to guide you through the visions of your past than someone who was a significant part of it. But remember child, I am not him, I only resemble his features. Now my dear, are you ready to begin your journey?" He smiled gently down at me as he offered his hand out.
"I guess so. Where exactly are we going?" I was curious to what the powers that be had in store. I took his offered hand as he started to lead me out of the living room. If I had any doubts that this man wasn't Angel they were gone the second I put my palm in his. His grasp was startlingly warm.
"Not very far child, you'll see, come along," he ushered me out the front door and when I stepped onto the porch I was suddenly standing in my old home in Los Angeles. The spirit pulled me farther into the house until we came upon the living room. There in the far corner stood the most magnificent Christmas tree I had ever seen. It was covered in tinsel and silver balls, the lights sparkling from it creating an almost halo around the entire room.
My eyes shifted to below the tree where a young girl, not more than 5, sat wading through the presents. A little blonde girl that looked suspiciously like me.
"Mom come on, you always let me open at least one present on Christmas Eve!" A little blonde girl that didn't just look like me, but sounded exactly like me. I followed the girl's gaze and felt my breath hitch when I caught sight of who she was pleading to.
"Mom?" I hadn't seen her in so long, the tears immediately welled up in my eyes.
"Yes, little one, your mother. Do you remember this?" His voice was so gentle with me as I tried to wrap my mind around the memory playing itself out before us.
"Yeah, I do. It was when I was four, that was the year Dad got stuck in Colorado on business. He got snowed in on Christmas Eve and didn't make it home until the day after Christmas." I still felt a pang of resentment at my father for even going away on a business trip that close to Christmas, even if it wasn't his fault he got snowed in. "It was actually kind of nice just Mom and me though." I turned my attention back to the scene in front of me when I heard my mother's gentle voice.
"Buffy, don't you want to wait for your father? I'm sure he'll be home any minute now."
"Do we have to? Can't I open just one now?" Huh, I never realized how whiny I was at that age. Mom really did have her hands full.
"Come on Buffy, I'll read you a story until your Dad gets home, how's that?" Mom was trying her darndest to compromise with me.
"Ok, but only if it's 'A Night Before Christmas'" The younger me finally relented and climbed up onto Mom's lap as she grabbed a book from beside the chair.
"Of course Buffy, I know it's your favorite." I watched as Mom started relating the story of St. Nick and the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. I felt the tears course down my cheeks as I watched the memory that I had cherished all these years relived before my very eyes. I didn't want to ever leave this place, it felt safe, I felt safe, for the first time in months.
"Come along child, there is something else you must see. And my time here is quickly coming to a close." The spirit gently guided me back out through the foyer and out the front door. As he ushered me away my eyes never left the scene that had just played out in front of me. Before I realized what was happening though I was standing back on the front porch of my house, my house in Sunnydale.
"I thought you had something else to show me, why are we back at my house?" Just as the question escaped my mouth I heard a loud burst of laughter erupt from inside. Curious as to which Christmas I had stepped into this time, I slowly turned the knob of the front door and moved inside. The foyer was covered in garland, reaching up along the staircase and hanging from the eves. I followed the sound of laughter into the living room. As soon as I caught sight of the tree in the middle of the room and the people surrounding it I knew instantly where I had been taken. "I remember this, it was right before you...........I mean right before Angel turned. It was the first Christmas the gang and I spent together. It's one of the best Christmas' I can remember." I sighed thinking back to that night four years ago.
"Yes, that is why you were brought here. Pay close attention to what you see child, everything that is being shown to you is for a reason." The guide ushered me further into the living room and into a corner on the far side of the tree. I glanced around, my eyes coming to rest on a small Menorah I had set up on the coffee table. Willow was coming to the Christmas Eve party for me, even though it went against her religious beliefs. The least I figured I could do was to try and make her feel more comfortable.
As I watch my past self laugh with my friends my memories come flooding back to me like a tidal wave. Especially the memories of Willow. When I had asked her over for dinner on Christmas Eve she had cast me a curious look, 'You do know I'm Jewish, right? I mean I thought you did, but now that I think about it, maybe I never really mentioned it'. She had launched into full babble mode until I had grasped her arm and told her that I did indeed know, but I was wondering if she would still come despite that. She hesitated for all of two seconds before smiling, shrugging her shoulders, and saying 'Sure, I'd love to'. I remember I had been dumbfounded at the ease to which she agreed. The more I think about it now though, I really shouldn't have been. Willow has always done anything I asked of her without question, sometimes even against her better judgment.
I'm broken out of my reverie when I see my younger self being guided over to the corner in which I'm presently standing. I look at Will closely for the first time since arriving in the memory. I had forgotten how adorable she looked with long hair, she's been wearing it short for so long now. I used to love to play with it back when we were in high school, Xander not sitting two feet from us, as we watched some cheesy old horror movie. I look back at Willow and notice how nervous she seems to be and I instantly remember.
"What's up Will?" My younger self doesn't seem to register how nervous Willow is.
"Um, well Buffy, I have a little Christmas present for you." Surprisingly Willow hadn't launched into babble mode. She always babbles when she's nervous, I've always found it incredibly endearing.
"Funny you should mention that, because I have one for you too, although it's more of a Hanukah present I guess." My younger self pulled a small package out from behind her back and presented it to Willow. At the same time Will pulled a present out from behind her and handed it to me. From my vantage point behind them I could see that her hands were slightly trembling.
"Ok , well then you first Buffy." Willow motioned for me to open her present. My younger self took the package and proceeded to shred the wrapping paper off.
"You know you don't have to tell me twice Will!" Willow laughed softly as I tore the last of the paper away to reveal a small black jewelry box. I gently opened it to reveal two silver ankle bracelets, a identical charm hanging from each one. "Oh Will, they're beautiful!"
"Well actually only one of them is for you. The charm on each one is a half of the whole. You wear one and I wear the other." Willow started to blush as she continued. "It's to signify our connection as friends, well, best friends."
"Willow, that is so sweet, thank you!" Younger me pulled Willow into a brief hug and then pulled the ankle bracelets from the box. "Come on, give me your ankle, we'll put them on right now." Willow blushed again and then held out her ankle to me. After I had placed the anklet on Willow I fastened the matching one to my own ankle and then stood up. "Ok Will, time to open yours." My younger self motioned to the package in Willow's hand. Willow smiled gently and then carefully pulled the wrapping paper away from the box. It looked similar to the package I had given her. She slowly opened it to reveal two identical silver rings.
"Oh Buffy, they're gorgeous! I can't believe you did this." Funny, I don't remember the awe in Willow's voice the first time.
"Well the best friend thing goes two ways, you're mine, I'm yours, that's just the way it is. And I just wanted to get you something to let you know how much I cherish that." Willow was misting up at my younger self's caring words and I had this intense desire to just wrap her up in a big bear hug. "And just in case you didn't know, one of those rings is mine." Willow laughed gently as she pulled one of the rings from the box. "Hey, did you check and make sure it's the right one? I had them engraved so that we wear each other's ring, mine should have your name on it." Willow looked dumbfounded.
"You went to all that trouble?"
"Of course I did Will, you're my best friend, you've stood by me even after you found out about my big secret, you're more than worth it." I remember the words had slipped past my lips like it was the most natural thing in the world to me. As I watch us embrace for the second time I start to wonder why I'm being shown this particular memory. The spirit guide told me there was a reason for everything I'm seeing, but for the life of me I can't figure out what it is. Why do the powers that be want me to remember my connection with Willow?
"Oh, look what we got here!" Xander's booming voice breaks me out of my thoughts. And it also has broken Willow and my younger self from their extended hug. Xander is pointing at something above them. As my gaze follows the trail his finger is pointing to I blanch, remembering exactly what happened next. "Uh-oh, Buffy and Willow are under the mistletoe! Come on guys, you know what that means, don't wanna mess with tradition do you?"
"Xander, I'm Jewish, I don't believe in the power of mistletoe." Willow looked defiantly at Xander, who still had that goofy grin plastered across his face.
"Yeah, but I'm not Will, and don't you think I tempt fate enough on a regular basis?" Ok, I had forgotten, ok maybe not forgotten more like repressed, that it was me who insisted on the two of us kissing. Again I was perplexed as to why I was being shown this image.
"Buffy, you can't be serious!?" Willow had turned even paler than usual.
"Will, a quick little peck to save me from some kind of evil mistletoe backlash is not going to kill you." And without even waiting for a reply, my younger self leaned in and snatched a quick kiss from Willow's pink lips. As I stood captivated by the sight of my lips pressed against Willow's I felt a gentle hand against my shoulder.
"It's time to go little one, the first part of your journey is done, and my time here has expired." I nodded my head mutely as he ushered me back out onto the porch. I felt a sudden wave of exhaustion overcome me as I closed my eyes. The next thing I knew I was sitting back in my chair with Willow's blanket draped around me. Before I even had a chance to comprehend what was going on, a flash of bright light filled the living room. When my eyes refocused I was drawn to a figure in the center of the room. My mouth dropped open at the sight of my second guide, the spirit of Christmas present.
"Anya?"
End Part 2