Desperate measures
by mike
Intercourse
[reviews]
Chapter 2
Intercourse.
"Done"
Willow felt the transition, aware deep down of the powers that were at work creating a private world and placing the estranged friends in the middle of it. Her magical senses were tickled but not uncomfortably. The transition completed and Willow gazed around slowly.
Directly in front of her was a wall of rose streaked marble. From the marble protruded all the items making up a shower with one of those large circular shower heads. Her gaze slowly traveled around taking in what looked like a kitchen and eating area, a toilet with a bidet next to it and a large Jacuzzi and nothing else but marble walls. The room was circular, no corners or edges at all and everything exposed to the room which appeared to be about thirty feet in diameter. And in the center of the room was Willow, sitting up on a bed.
As her senses finally adjusted to the new environment, the sound of nearly silent weeping reached her ears. She looked down for the source of the heart breaking sounds. Next to her with only her head exposed, the rest of her body deeply buried in blankets and comforter was her long time friend.
With trepidation, Willow slowly laid her hand on the soft blond hair and stroked it gently. After a few strokes the sobs quieted.
Without moving Buffy quietly spoke. "Thank you Dawn, but I think I just want to be alone for awhile."
Willow withdrew her hand. "Buffy, it's not Dawn. It's me, Willow." Willow spoke softly, knowing that the slayer was about to be surprised to say the least.
Buffy had rolled over and was now staring at Willow. Buffy's face was completely frozen in total wonderment. Willow patiently waited for Buffy to adjust to the situation by keeping an engaging smile on her face, one of her patented Willow smiles.
Buffy was looking at the face of her long time friend, lost in the beauty of her smiling face. It brought out memories of seeing her being castigated by Cordelia at the water fountain followed by greeting her at a bench in the quad. This memory transitioned into her sidling up to Willow at the bronze. That was followed by the frozen expression on her face as she assimilated the information about vampires and demons and Buffy's role as the slayer.
And the tears began to flow, the extreme emotion of remembering the best times of her life flooded her body like a knife to the gut because she knew this wasn't real. She knew she had finally gone completely insane. Desire and denial had finally culminated in a retreat into insanity. Knowing that this was just her imagination only accentuated the utter depths she had sunk to.
"Oh God, this hurts too much." Buffy gasped and clenched her eyes tight to the vision of her insanity. Buffy curled herself into a tight ball around the pain in her chest, a pain that was spreading through her body like a cancer which no amount of pain killer could combat.
Buffy's memory played like a Sci-Fi marathon without the commercials; the cold pit in her stomach as Willow leaves the Bronze with the vamp. Then the utter destitution on Willow's face when she discovers the bodies in the school. The restrained fear as Angelus held her neck, so close to snapping. The anger in Willows voice when she confronted her at the party from hell when she returned from LA. The look of determination and certainty when Willow told her they would be going to UC Sunnydale together and here Buffy's mind halted.
"It's a good fight Buffy, and I want in."
"I kinda love you." Is that what she really meant? I kinda love you. I kinda love you. I kinda love you.
A warm press of an exquisite nature halted her descent into spiraling madness. Like a safety switch, the feel of Willows lips to Buffy's cheek completely halted all her thought processes.
All thoughts except one new one. 'That felt like Willow's kiss on my cheek. Can't be, this is just my imagination. I couldn't really have felt something that I didn't imagine, nor did my subconscious imagine it. And what..WOHHHHH."
Willows lips now pressed into the corner of her mouth and Buffy knew she didn't imagine that. Slayer curiosity overcame dreams of insanity as Buffy's eyes once again opened to see the incredible visage of her friend.
"Willow?" Buffy practically croaked from her tear wracked throat.
"Yea Buffy, it's me." Willow gently brushed the hair from Buffy's face. "Dawnie made a surprise for us. When you're ready, I'll try and explain. OK?" Willow said gently and then laid another kiss on Buffy's cheek.
As Buffy kept her gaze on Willow, her mind slowly unfroze. More recent memories began to impose themselves. Willow with black hair standing over her in the hospital. Willow flinging her arm and knocking her and Xander to the ground. Willow standing in front of Warren as the skin from his body was literally ripped off and then what remained was incinerated in a flash. Willow threatening Dawn. Willow telling her that she, Buffy would rather be dead. Willow saying how she, Buffy needed her ass kicked and then doing a pretty good job of doing so. Memories of a Willow that frightened her more than she could comprehend, more that she could conceive.
Buffy sat up quickly. "I thought you were with Xander." Buffy's voice was now even and cool, all emotion gone. This is how we protect she knew deep down. Can't expose anything now, can't let her know because there is nothing to know. Don't even think about it. Can't let her know, can't let her even have a clue. It would ruin everything if she knew. It's wicked if I even think it. Can't let her know. Can't think it. But isn't it already ruined? She asked herself quietly overriding the strident voice.
"Buffy, you and I are alone here. Dawn set things up with Anya so that you and I would be alone together until we resolved our differences. I know this is another something done without your permission but Dawn did have your best interests at heart and I was so totally depressed I just went along with it. I'm sorry if this is making you uncomfortable, but I thought I was just placating Dawnie. Well not completely, the idea of you and I working out our problems and being friends again did cloud my judgment. I hope you're not too angry."
Willow finally stopped and took a big breath. And Buffy had finally decided on her first question.
"Where are we?" Buffy asked as she slowly began to take in her surroundings. Buffy's scan was quicker than Willow's. Her slayer instincts took in everything quickly. She noticed everything that was there and things that were not like doors and windows.
"I think Anya created an alcove in reality and placed us in it. I passively sensed the transition. I don't think anything exists outside these walls. It's like our own private universe." Willow had softly placed her hand over the slayers and gently stroked the back as she spoke.
Buffy didn't move her hand but she gazed at Willow's face intently. Why was she here with Willow? Why didn't she wish for Tara? And while Willow didn't look happy, she wasn't fall apart super depressing either. Buffy tried to formulate in her mind how to ask these questions and only one thing came out.
"Why me and not Tara?" Buffy spoke softly, knowing full well the possible effect the mention of the gentle Wicca's name could have on the redhead.
Willow's eye closed. Her brow furrowed and a small intake of breath was the only hints at the tremendous wave of sorrow that washed across her. Willow reclaimed control quickly and opened her eyes.
"Because Tara is dead." The words were barely whispered. "To restore Tara would have required resetting time prior to the event. And there is no guarantee that it just wouldn't happen all over again. And if I was able to prevent it from happening, it would create a branching line, not replacing the original. These events would still exist on the original line where my Tara is dead and her soul is someplace it can't return from." Here Willow stopped for a moment and after taking a big breath and letting it out slowly she continued.
"I have this hole in me. It's so large; it seems to fully encompass me. That's where I got lost and became something very dark and ugly. I hurt so bad, it was the only place I could hide. I hid behind the darkness and just let it take over. That hole is where Tara was in my life. Dawn felt that rekindling our friendship would help me fill that hole. And there is a desperate part of me that is hoping that maybe you can fill that dark hole in me somehow." Willow's slight emphasis on the 'can' conveyed something of her hope.
In silent recognition of Willow's pain, Buffy reached up with her free hand and tenderly stroked Willow's cheek. Then memory of the pain of their last encounter flooded back and she pulled her hand back.
"But you tried to kill me. I can't seem to get past that. And that you said I need my ass kicked and then went ahead and did it." The hurt in Buffy's voice conveyed her pain, confusion and fear.
"Buffy, if I really wanted to kill you, I would have rather than sending you after the bouncing fire ball. And as for the ass kicking, I remember it more as a draw. And don't forget, with all my magically enhanced strength, magic that I could have used to just cause your heart to stop beating if Anya wasn't chanting protection spells off in the corner, I still needed to use magic to gain the upper hand." Willow watched the sad face before her to see if anything she had just said helped. Buffy's face relaxed just a little. Her eyebrows unscrunched just the littlest bit.
"I guess my pride was hurt, huh?" Buffy's concession to this obvious fact caused Willow to smile just a little.
"I think also being on the receiving end of your 'Big Gun' and best friend had to hurt pretty bad too. I can't believe that I would do those things but I did. I totally understand Faith now. Don't know if I would ever trust her, but I do understand how easy it is to go over." Willow's small voice trailed off into a river of guilt and regret.
"Willow, it wasn't easy to go over. It took the most horrific event of your worst nightmares to cause you to seek the power necessary to exact your vengeance. I think it's the vengeance thing you need to work on." Buffy's voice got soft but remained clear. "Anytime someone hurts you, your first impulse was soaking up magic and seeking vengeance. There was Oz and Veruca, Glory hurting Tara and then the final act by the misogynist king. You throw these incredible tantrums because you have the power to do so, any idea why you react so violently?" Buffy rolled her hand over; clasping Willow's in hers and gave an affectionate squeeze.
"Kinda funny question coming from you, don't you think?" Willow's grin took any sting out of the question.
"Yes, I respond to threats and attacks with violence. But I don't kill humans. And if you had caught Warren and handed him over to the police battered and peeing in his pants but alive, I would have been the first to tell you how proud I was of you." The emotion in Buffy's voice was compelling. It didn't challenge or plead; it merely conveyed a fact that was irrefutable.
Willow hung her head low until she felt the gentle touch of Buffy's fingers under her chin, slowly encouraging her to lift her head and resume eye contact. What she saw broke her heart. Tears were flowing down each side of her exquisite nose. Tears from eyes brimming with caring and something else that gave her hope.
"Was I always like that? And if not, where did I go wrong?" Willow brought her forehead to rest against Buffy's. The slayer did not pull away as Willow sobbed her questions and joined Buffy's rain of tears.
Sometime later, no telling how much later as the light was the same and there were no clocks and they couldn't see outside to see if it was night or day, two tear drained young women began to slowly stir from a deep and exhausted sleep. They began by slowly making note of touch. Touch told them that they were warm, the kind of warmth that makes you feel all comfortable and safe. Touch also conveyed that their bodies and limbs were all tangled up and each felt the soft warmth of each others breath on their cheeks. Eye's slowly opened. One pair of bright green and one pair the color of an ancient forest. Eyes unable to focus as each other's face was mere centimeters apart.
"I think we're all tangled up." Willow whispered a little awed by their positions and Buffy not immediately jumping away.
"It does appear so." Buffy spoke so softly Willow barely heard.
"Any idea how it happened?" Willow continued the conversation while relishing the heat being generated where their body's meshed so tightly.
"Nope, does it matter?" Buffy still hadn't budged.
"Guess not. Are you uncomfortable? Because if you are, we can work on untangling ourselves but only if you are because I'm not uncomfortable at all." Willow succeeded in stopping before the run away mouth on track twenty-nine got away from her.
"Nope again, I'm definitely in the comfortable camp." Buffy then took a slow deep breath, inhaling Willow's scent finishing with a contented sigh and closing her eyes again. She even gave the red head a gentle squeeze with her encircling arms because it felt so natural to do.
Willow returned the affectionate embrace which brought their already close mouths even that much closer together, so close that Willow could feel the corner of Buffy's mouth against her lips. The urge was just too great. Willow pressed her lips into Buffy in a soft tender kiss.
Buffy pulled her head back slowly. When she had achieved enough separation to focus on Willow's face she reached up with her hand and slowly brushed soft red strands that felt like silk away from her face.
"I'm not her Will." Buffy spoke softly convinced that her friend was seeking some kind of replacement for her lost love.
"I know. And she was never you." Willow's words confused the slayer completely. Not understanding or not wanting to understand. She suddenly felt the need to get out of bed.
"As incredibly good a snuggler as you are I think we can probably focus better after freshening up." Buffy slowly untangled herself and rolled away to stand next to the bed. Standing up she looked towards the shower marveling at its beauty while frowning at the lack of privacy. She took a couple of steps towards the shower but quickly reconsidered as nature made its needs more imminent. She turned to gaze apprehensively at the equally exposed toilet.
"Uh Will, I need to use the bathroom but we don't seem to have one, just one big room that looks like a bedroom, bathroom and kitchen combo. What is with this anyway?" Buffy said just staring at the exposed facilities.
"It's Anya. Don't know if it's the demonic sense of humor but more likely that she never considered the embarrassment factor since the word is not in her vocabulary." Willow was watching Buffy with a tiny grin on her face.
"But don't worry Buffy, go ahead. I'm not going to watch you." Willow kept her voice friendly and encouraging.
"Yea, your right, nothing to worry about. We're all alone except for each other. Best friends." Buffy gave her a big grin and walked towards the open toilet.
Willow gave Buffy one last look and then got up, walking over towards the shower for a closer inspection. The shower area was about six feet wide by ten feet long and sunken about six inches. There was this very large shower head that just hung about seven feet up and 3 feet from the wall. To the side were marble columns with gold nozzles, about 5 nozzles on each of the four columns.
Willow felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped a little. "Pretty impressive. Have you found the instruction manual?" Buffy quipped only half jokingly.
"I think were just going to have to experiment." Willow said softly as she also noticed a little shelf protruding from the wall about three feet long and seven feet up.
"Going to watch me shower?" Buffy spoke, hoping the line would cause her friend to understand her desire for privacy.
"Oh, if you don't mind, I would love to see how everything works." Willow responded enthusiastically.
"You're serious, aren't you?" Buffy gazed at her friend fully aware of Willow's innate curiosity.
"Oh, not if it would make you uncomfortable." Willow blurted out finally realizing Buffy's true intent.
Buffy shook her head whimsically and gave a slight chuckle. "Actually I think it might be OK. I might need your help figuring things out anyway. Just remind me to strangle Anya when we get back." Buffy gave Willow's shoulder a gentle squeeze and then removed the sweat pants and halter top she had worn to bed and placed them on a cushioned bench that was next to the shower.
Buffy stood to the side of the oversized shower head and turned the knobs that looked like the hot and cold water but nothing happened. There was a gold lever on the other side so Buffy raised it slowly and still nothing happened. She looked back at Willow and she was just as mystified.
"This isn't a vengeance demon thing is it? Create a beautiful shower and not hook up the water." Buffy asked exasperated.
"I don't know. Anya is very materialistic. I wouldn't think she'd miss something so obvious." As Willow spoke, her helpful nature caused her to step into the shower just to see if there was anything she could do. As she crossed into the area of the columns, water came pouring out of the shower head, cascading over the shelf in a water fall and shooting out of the jets in the columns. Both girls screamed and Willow jumped back. As soon as Willow left the immediate area, all water flow ceased. Buffy had been standing right under the water fall, so she was completely drenched but that had been her intent. Willow on the other hand was completely dripping in the peach silk pajamas of Anya's that Xander had given her to wear.
"That bitch!" Willow yelled holding her arms out as her soaked pj's clung revealing to her slim form.
Buffy noticing the attractive curves had some appealing thoughts cross her mind and before her long time fears could override her innate desires those desires voiced themselves innocently.
"Yes she's a bitch. The shower only works if we're both in here and since you're already wet you might as well strip and get your pretty little butt in here." Buffy started laughing at the sight of her friend's furious expression while looking like a drowned rat.
Willow noticing the gorgeously wet body jiggling delightfully to her laughter grinned wickedly.
"Laugh at me will you?" Willow disrobed quickly and left the dripping garments on the floor by the bench. She then entered the shower zone and the water began pouring again.
Buffy was standing under the shower watching Willow's approach. Seeing the mischievous look on the redhead's face she couldn't help but respond in kind. A little water fun might be just the thing she thought. Yea, fun with water and Willow. Do you really want to do that? You could go too far and reveal what you dare not reveal. But she's so gorgeous. I want to touch her. Touch her all over and kiss her. I want to kiss her. Those lips were made for kissing. But you can't, it's wrong. You only desire men. A woman can never please you. It's unnatural. It's not who you are. You are the slayer. A slayer can't be with a woman or the world will end. Be with a woman and the world will end. Be with a woman and the world will end. The refrain played over and over in Buffy's mind and her face turned to one of horror and grief then finally into pain. A pain she couldn't escape. It was crawling inside her head devouring her. She looked up as her legs crumbled and her eyes rolled up. Buffy merely whimpered in pain as she collapsed, Willow catching her just as she slipped into unconsciousness.