Leaving Her
by Salix
The Morning After
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Buffy decided to ask Tara out, despite her daughter's disapproval for it. She figured that it was just because she would be gone, and not spending time with her, and that she was a little jealous. They kept the date very casual. They went to a little nightclub up in Hartford and had a great time. Tara was still a little shy and it took Buffy some coaxing to get her onto the dance floor, but once they started they didn't want to stop. But they did, when a slow song came on. They both thought that it was a little too soon to be doing that.
So they sat back down at their table, and sipped at their drinks. Things were a little tense between them. All Buffy wanted to do was kiss those big soft lips again, but she was afraid that she would be coming on too strong if she did. So instead they settled for a nice conversation about their interests. It ranged from movies, to books, to music, to the types of people they're attracted to. They talked for hours without even realizing that much time had passed. They both really enjoyed each other's company and how easy it was to just talk.
By the end of the conversation Buffy finally realized how close she was now sitting to the other woman. Any closer and she'd be in her lap. She got a little anxious when she realized, and cast a glance down at the closeness of their bodies. When Tara too looked down and noticed how close they were to each other Buffy thought that she was going to move away, but she just looked into her eyes and smiled a sexy little smirk. That put Buffy more at ease, and she found herself unable to look away from those soft blue eyes that she wanted so badly to get lost in.
"I have a confession to make," she heard Tara say. She looked at her, a little confused at first. But she decided to play along. She took a deep calming breath, and then decided that doing that was a bad idea because she had gotten a big whiff of Tara's perfume and the desire to kiss her only intensified. She couldn't help but glance down at the lips she so desperately wanted to feel against hers. She was going to say something in response, but Tara didn't give her the chance. "All this time we've been talking, but all
I've wanted to do was kiss you."
That did it. Buffy couldn't handle it anymore. She leaned forward and started to wildly kiss the woman with utter abandon. It took Tara a few seconds to catch up with her but once she did she was able to calm Buffy down a little, get her slow down a lot, and they shared a nice, soft kiss that had undertones of a burning passion that both women wanted to unleash. Buffy finally pulled back when her lungs couldn't take the lack of oxygen, and she looked into the desire filled eyes of her date. She took her by the hand and stood up.
"Let's go," she said as she led them out the door and to her car. They drove in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was a half hour drive back to Stars Hollow, they made it in fifteen. As they neared Buffy's house, that's when things started to grow a little tense with anticipation. They both noticed it, the sparks that were flying between them, they both haven't been with another person in so long, but they knew that this connection was more then just a sexual attraction. Buffy parked the car next to the curb and shut off the engine. They sat there for a few minutes in silence before one of them finally spoke.
"So..." Tara said and nervously rubbed her hands together. Each could tell that the other was nervous, but Buffy would be damned if she was going to let that stop her. She unbuckled her seatbelt, and leaned over, placing a soft kiss on those pouty lips. Neither of them knew when their tongues got involved but they both moaned at the contact. They were finally forced to pull away to take in the needed oxygen that their lungs were crying out for.
"Shall we?" Buffy asked and opened her door. She watched as Tara smiled and unbuckled and then opened her door as well. They both stepped out of the car, Buffy locked it up, and then they made their way up to Buffy's apartment. They were standing outside of the door, a little afraid to go in, both knew exactly what would happen if they entered that door tonight. To give herself some more self-confidence, Buffy started to kiss the other woman again and before she really knew what was happening they had made their way to her bedroom.
She stumbled over the shoes that she had left out on the floor, almost falling in the process. They were both on the bed, kissing each other like their very lives depended on it. Then Buffy stopped and stood up. She walked over to her door and closed and locked it, not wanting her daughter to see anything that might traumatize her. She slowly made her way over to the bed again, putting an extra sway into her hips as she pulled off her shirt. She was going to continue with the little strip tease, but her body cried out for her to hurry things along.
It only took a few minutes for all of the clothes to be gone, thrown around the room in a heated passion. Buffy has always thought of herself as the more dominate one in bed, but it wasn't long before she was the one on the bottom, which surprised her a little because Tara just seems so shy when you're talking to her. All thought was quickly forgotten, especially the one telling her to be quiet, as Tara gave her the touch that they've both been denied for such a long time. It didn't take very long before Tara had catapulted Buffy into a screaming, toe curling orgasm. It took her about ten minutes to come down from her high, but when she did she was more then happy to return the favor.
~~~
Emily was lying her bed, very unhappy at the moment. She had heard her mom come home from her 'date' and was going to go out and talk to her about it, actually try to be nice. But when she poked her head out her door to see what all of the stomping around was for she saw the most awful sight she's seen in a long time. Some strange woman, who she assumed was Tara, was all over her mom while they made their way towards the bedroom. They were so wrapped up in each other they didn't even notice that they had an audience.
She was just so mad that her mom would do this. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. They weren't supposed to be living in this stupid little town still. They were supposed to have stayed here until her redheaded mom proved that she was going to be a better mom, a better wife. But her other mom, the one who's currently being very loud with someone she hasn't even introduced to Emily yet, hasn't even given her a chance. She's just completely brushed off every apology that Willow has sent her way, and it just isn't right.
She turned on her stereo putting in her Rob Zombie CD and turning it up almost as loud as it will go. She tried to drown out the moans, and the gasps and the sound of the headboard being smacked roughly against the wall, but they were all still fresh in her mind and no matter how loudly she turned up the music she couldn't get the insanity out. She got out of bed and started to big through her closet. She pulled out a small blue box and took off the lid. She picked up two of the white pills and swallowed them dry.
She taught herself how to do that back in Sunnydale when she and Nikki started to take Vicodin. They stopped taking it before they got heavily addicted to it, but right now Emily didn't care about becoming addicted or not. She needed sleep and she wanted to numb this awful pain that was starting to build up inside of her. She laid back down in her bed, and reeled off of the effects the drug was having on her body. She felt a little sick to her stomach but she ignored it as she rode the synthetic high that was created by those two pills and she finally fell asleep.
She crawled out of bed the next morning with a headache bad enough she thought she was dying. Her stomach also hurt and she felt nauseous, but these are both just side affects from that little wonder drug. She poured herself a bowl of cereal knowing from experience that the nauseousness will go away if she gets some food in her stomach. She headache she isn't so sure about, but she thinks that she got it more from emotional pain turning into physical pain then getting it from the pills.
She ran her fingers through her hair while she took another bite of the stale food. They needed to go grocery shopping, and badly. She started to make a mental list of everything that they needed when she heard a door being opened. She then heard two sets of footprints, one heading towards the bathroom, and one heading towards the kitchen. She was angry, and nervous. She wasn't going to pretend like she didn't hear them. She wasn't going to play nice with this woman who had shared a bed with her mother after one date. God, she was so mad she could send her fist through a wall. Or, as she preferred, Tara's face.
"Good morning," she heard the woman say, her voice deep from sleepiness, and also raspy from all of the screaming. Emily tensed up and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. This was the last thing she needed right now. She had enough going on at the moment without having to deal with the after affects of her mother's stupidness. She finished chewing the bite in her mouth and swallowed and let out a sigh.
"Morning," she said with clear displeasure in her voice. She could practically feel the other person tense, and the room was suddenly filled with this thick awkward vice. 'Good, I'm glad she's uncomfortable,' she thought as she took another bite of her breakfast. She was starting to wish that she had gotten dressed and walked to Luke's, but then she thought that she might have gotten sick if she had tried to walk all the way. She was in shape to be walking around in the streets that this moment.
"I'm s-s-sorry if we kept you up last night," she heard Tara say, uneasiness in her voice as she stuttered over some of her words. She wasn't even look and she could tell that the older woman was blushing very deeply. She rolled her eyes and slurped up the last of the milk that was left in the bowl before dropping the spoon inside of it. She immediately regretted doing that because the loud clanking noise hurt her head. She winced and then took a deep calming breath.
"Yeah, sure you are," she said sarcastically and got up and put the bowl in the sink. She cast a sideways glance over at the stranger and noticed that she was wearing one of her mom's baggy t-shirt that she had gotten a while ago. They were just her 'lay around' shirts, something to change into after a long day at the Inn and wearing the uncomfortable clothes. She was also wearing a pair of her mom's boxers, the sky blue ones with little sheep all over them, the ones that Emily had boughten as an inside joke. That infuriated her and she almost broke the bowl as she washed it she was gripping it so hard.
"Look," she heard Tara say as the coffee maker beeped its announcement saying that the coffee was ready to be consumed, and then she poured herself a mug. "I know you're probably mad at me. I know your protective of your mom and you don't want to see her get hurt, and I just want you to know that I have no intentions of hurting your mother. You're probably thinking that it's just a line, but it's the truth." She said this sincerely and Emily knew that she was telling the truth, but she didn't care. She was still pissed and she wasn't going to be nice.
"Actually, I was trying to think of what kind of person just jumps into bed after only one date, now I know," she said her voice dripping with repulsion. Tara looked a little hurt, so Emily silently congratulated herself. "Look, I don't care what your intentions are, or how nice you treat me, but I'm never going to be nice to you. I'm never going to view you as friend, or a pal, and certainly not as my mom's girlfriend or anything close to it, so save yourself the effort in trying to get met to like you because it's not going to work." She closed the cupboard door a little harder then normal, emphasizing her little speech, and then she stomped off to her room and slammed the door as hard as she could.
She heard her mom yell something about being gentle with the doors but she ignored it. She got dressed and brushed her hair. She didn't plan on going anywhere, at least not yet, but she needed something to do. She could hear her mom raise her voice a little as she talked to Tara. She heard the other woman say something like 'it's ok, she's just a teenager she'll get over it,' and then she heard her mom say something about disrespect and how she isn't going to let her get away with it. And then she heard the stomps of her mother walking towards her room, and she prepared for the argument that was about to take place.
"Go apologize to her right now," she heard her say very angrily right after the door opened. Emily just looked up from her vanity mirror where she was applying the dark eye makeup. She was careful not to stab herself as she glided the eyeliner gently over the soft skin. When she was done she put the little pencil looking thing down and stood up to grab a hair-tie. She could feel the anger coming off of her mom in waves but she ignored it as best she could and didn't let it fuel her own anger.
"No," she said and then pulled her hair back into a sloppy ponytail. "I'm not going to apologize to someone I don't even know. How could you do that? How could you just bring someone home like that?" She didn't wait for an answer, she didn't want an answer she just wanted all of this to end. "I want to go back to Sunnydale. I hate it here. I hate this stupid town, I hate this apartment. I want to go back to mom. You two should get back together. You can be happy together, you just have to accept her apology and give her another chance." She watched her mom shake her head a little and then put her hands on her hips.
"Just stop with that, ok? We're not going back there. I'm not going to take her back, so stop pushing for it," she said in a tone that left no room for arguments. Well, at least Buffy thought so but Emily just argued right back. They were both getting frustrated, getting angry at each other more then the situation. If they just took a step back and rationalized this then they would see that they were going out this all wrong, but they're not making judgments with their rational sides, they're making judgments with their emotions and right now that isn't the best idea in the world.
"No, I'm not going to stop pushing for it. She still loves you and you still love her. You're just too stubborn to admit it! We can all be happy again if you just set your pride aside and take her back. If you just let go of all the anger and we go back then we can all be happy again, because I know you're not!" Their voices were starting to raise in volume, and they didn't care. They were too angry to worry about the neighbors hearing them, and they completely forgot all about Tara, whose still in the kitchen, feeling bad for saying something in the first place and being the cause of this fight.
"So we go back, and then what? She says that she's better now, that her job isn't too time consuming, but then what happens when she gets promoted? When she has more responsibility, and longer hours and she starts ignoring us again? What do we do then? I'm not going to go back to her just to have her hurt us, I wont' let you go through that again." She was determined to get her point across, to make Emily see things her way, or at least go on until she won the fight. She wasn't going to go back, she wasn't going to put her heart on the line again.
"No, Mom she won't. She wouldn't do that to us again, not at the risk of you bailing on her. You two can be happy together, I can be happy again. Please, let's just go back to Sunnydale. If things to get bad again we can leave. It's not like it was hard the first time," she replied sarcastically. That pissed Buffy off, a lot. She took a step forward, her voice growing deeper with anger.
"Don't you dare for one second think that it was easy for me. Or do you not remember how hard I cried? Not just in the beginning, but on all of the important days. Our wedding anniversary, do you remember that? Do you remember how I stayed in bed for three days because I was too depressed to get up? I still love her, a part of me will always love her, but I'm not going back and risk getting hurt again!" Emily crossed her arms over her chest, and looked at her mom defiantly. There was rage and pain in those big blue eyes, but she was trying to hide it, just like she was hiding all of her other emotions lately.
"Fine, you don't want to go back, then stay here. Because I'm going back to her. We've been away from her for over a year, she's only been able to visit three times. She misses me, she misses you. She still wants a second chance, but if you're not willing to give it to her then I'll go by myself." She started to walk off towards her closet to pack some clothes, but Buffy grabbed her by the upper arm and turned her around.
"No! You cannot leave. I'm not going to just let you leave like this. I need you, don't you get that? You're the most important thing in my life, you can't just walk away. I know you miss her, but things will get better. It just takes time. I need you here with me, I don't have anyone else. She has people who love her and will take care of her, if you leave then I'll be all alone. I need you here, I love you too much for you to just walk away." She was trying not to panic. The thought of losing her daughter was a very scary one. She didn't want her to go back to that house in Sunnydale and have Willow just get caught up in her work again and ignore her like she had for two years.
"Now you know how she feels about you! She's waited for you to go back to her, she got a new job with lower hours. She's apologized only God knows how many times. She's still in love with you and you're just going to turn her down? You're just going to let her suffer while you bring home and fuck that woman you met in college!" A lot of firsts happened that morning. That was the first time Emily has ever cussed at her mom when she was angry, it was the first time she said the work 'fuck' in front of her. And when Buffy pulled back her arm and then heard the slap of the palm of her hand connecting with Emily's cheek it was the first time she's ever hit her daughter out of anger and in a non-playful way.
Instantly a red mark appeared on her face, and her eyes had welled up with tears from the sting of the pain. She looked into her mom's eyes and saw the regret from what she had done. She heard her mother try to apologize, but she wouldn't listen. She tried to keep the hurt out of her eyes, the look of 'how could you?', but it wasn't working very well. She felt herself about to break down, to let all of her insecurities and stress she's been feeling get the best of her, she needed to get out of there. She grabbed her coat and she left the apartment, slamming the front door behind her hard enough to knock a picture off of the wall as she went.