Loving Willow Til Death Do Us Part
by Rin
6
[reviews]
"I don't understand why you wouldn't tell me." Willow was on her last point of argument, and had done well so far fighting back the tears. She wasn't sure why this part even upset her. After all, she herself had sex with Faith. Why would it make a difference if Buffy did, too? 'Because it's Buffy...and Faith screams sex goddess...and I'm just Willow...'
"It never really crossed my mind. I guess it's sorta like you not telling me what all you and Fred did. It's just not something I wanna know." Buffy had taken the yelling. The screaming, the pacing, the overall thumbnail-chewing conversation. It wasn't the fact that Buffy didn't show up; it's that it was HER idea in the first place, and she didn't even bother calling to let her know, even if she did forget.
"Well...I mean...you know who all I've slept with...I've never hidden that fact. I just don't give intimate details. I know how you get." Willow was afraid that there were other sex partners that Buffy wasn't telling her about. If she couldn't tell her about Faith, then who else was there?
"What's really got you worried here, Will? That I didn't tell you...or that it was Faith?" Buffy challenged her, and the redhead looked struck at that.
"How could you imply that I don't trust you? I trust you undoubtedly. I'm just not sure anymore because you've been keeping secrets, important ones...like former lovers...and...and who knows what else? You're barely around anymore. Even when you are, you don't pay much attention to me. Sure, I get that your mom is sick...I can deal with that...but you don't just ignore your girlfriend completely! I'm trying to help, Buffy. You just brush me aside like I'm Xander." Willow started pacing again, fire in her eyes.
"I'm not lying to you!" Buffy stood, and matched her toe to toe.
"I'm not saying you are! But you sure as hell aren't telling me everything!" Willow didn't back down. She'd brought it this far; she refused to at this point.
"Fine! You wanna know everything?!"
"YES! That's what I'm telling you!!!" Willow's face was bloodred with anger.
"Fine! Here's the truth." Buffy steeled her jaw. "I'm scared. Okay? I'm scared that something's gonna happen to you, or Mom...especially Dawn! With Glory out there, all that keeps happening is me winding up with my face in the dirt! It scares me that she's the one that'll take everything away from me. That she's the one that'll take me away from you."
"Oh, Buffy...we'll figure out how to beat her. I promise." Willow pulled the now sobbing Buffy into her arms, and moved them to the couch. "It's okay to be scared. I'm scared, too. I'm scared that everyday I'm losing you more and more, and I don't know what to do."
"You just have to be you."
"It doesn't feel like it's enough for you anymore, though." Willow took the silence as a bad sign, and started to cry herself. Buffy just clung to the redhead, needing just to be held.
"You're more than enough. I'll never get enough of you." Buffy kissed Willow's neck, and rubbed her hands up and down the redhead's back.
"Sex isn't going to solve anything, Buf." Willow could feel the familiar signs of Buffy seduction.
"It won't make things worse, though...will it?" Buffy looked at Willow, that familiar sparkle of lust in her eyes. What she saw looking back at her was a mix of confusion and lust. "We don't have to...if you don't want..."
"It's not that I don't, Buffy. We just have too much to get through before I can give myself to you again. You really hurt me."
"I'm sorry, Wills. I never meant to hurt you..." Buffy just hugged Willow to her again.
------------------------------------------
Things were good in Buffy and Willow ville for awhile. Then, Giles came back from England with no new information, and the council followed not long after, threatening to withhold the information if Buffy didn't cooperate. The slayer put them in their place quick, and now that she had the information? She wasn't sure she really wanted it.
A god.
Glory was a god.
It explained a lot about the power that Buffy sensed in the obviously diva-fied demon. Truth was...she saw a lot of herself in Glory, and that bothered her. Glory was a Hellgod, yet they both had great fashion sense. Buffy wasn't sure she liked sharing her love of fine silks with a hellgod.
"Whatcha thinkin?" Faith sauntered up to her sister slayer, who looked so lost, just sitting back on the pummel horse in the training room at the Magic Box.
"Not much." Buffy was debating on what to tell the gang. She couldn't let them risk their lives like this, and not know what they were protecting. It was time to come clean about Dawn being the key.
----------------------
"I want to trust you but you have to stop withholding information from me!" Another fight. Great. It hadn't even been a month since the last one cleared.
"I couldn't tell you! I didn't want you to treat her any differently!" Buffy was yelling back this time, standing by her decision. The decision to forget about Faith and not tell Willow was a bad one...but not telling the gang something that could get them killed for knowing? She would stand by that indefinitely.
"Is that why you've kept her on a tighter leash lately? Is that why you've been extra hard on her?" Willow was astounded. Didn't they just establish not even a month ago that keeping big secrets was a big No-No if they were going to survive this relationship?
"I have to protect her. I can't just...it's complicated." Buffy slumped on the couch, and folded her arms in defiance.
"That's no different than normal! Complicated how? Tell me!" Willow just stood in front of her, an attempt to be somewhat intimidating, though she knew it wasn't working.
"They made her from me! The monks made her from me! I'm a part of her!"
"You always were... Buffy, did you ever stop to think about what would happen if we just stumbled upon something? What about Dawn? Does she even know? Joyce? Faith? Did Faith know before me? Is this why you're always talking to Giles more than you do me?"
"Calm down, Willow. You have to understand. I had to do it. I had to protect you all. If Glory had gotten ahold of you because she knew that you knew something..." Buffy just trailed off. She didn't even want to think about that.
"You could've told me."
"I wanted to. Believe me." Buffy sent pleading eyes to her lover, and it took all of Willow's power to keep from just caving into them. "Everyday, I wanted to tell you."
"What makes now so different?" Willow was there when Travers released the information but why would that make it different?
"Now that we know Glory is a god, I just...I couldn't keep that from you guys anymore."
"We're supposed to be partners, Buffy. If this is going to work, you can't just decide when to tell me things. I want to know. I signed up to WITH you, not behind you."