The Princess Bride
by Whedonist
Chapter 2
[reviews]
Disclaimer: So uh, not sure how to disclose so I'm going to do what I'm known for, be vague. Who ever own's the right to The Princess Bride no copyright infringement is intended. Just for fun and a way to while away the hours in the night. For the BTVS gang, they belong to Joss. I would credit the rest, but I don't think they deserve it.
A/N: K, so thanks for the reviews. Also, I'm hoping this holds the lot of you over while my Beta works on Chapter 20 of Nothing But You. We just started working together so we'll see how it goes. Truthfully I think it's gonna be pretty shiny. So here's chapter 2. Enjoy.
Chapter 2
Angel helped the climber up the side of the cliff. The masked climber sat down on a rock to catch their breath. Preparing to get up, they were stopped by Angel, "Wait, wait, rest and then we will finish this."
Relaxing, they said "Thank you."
Angel shuffled his feet and then looked expectantly at the climber, "I don't mean to pry, but you do not happen to have 6 fingers on your right hand?"
Black Mask looked up perplexed, "Do you always begin conversations this way?"
"My father was slaughtered by someone with 6 fingers. He was a great swords maker, my father. Six Fingers appeared and requested a special sword. My father took the job. He slaved a year before he was done." Angel removed the sword from its scabbard and allowed the individual to hold it.
"I've never seen its equal."
Taking the sword back, Angel said, "Six Fingers returned and demanded it at one tenth its promised price. My father refused and with out a word Six Fingers slashed him through the heart. I loved my father, so naturally I challenged the murderer to a duel. I failed. Six Fingers left me alive, but gave me this." Angel pointed to the scar on his left cheek. Thin and white, it was the mark of the tip of a sword ran down from the top of his cheek to the jaw line.
"How old where you?"
"I was 11 years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet I will not fail. I will go up to Six Fingers and say: Hello, my name is Angelus Liam you killed my father prepare to die."
"You've done nothing but study swordplay?"
"More pursued than studied. You see it's been 20 years now and still I can't find them. I am starting to lose confidence. I just work for Riley to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge."
Black Mask nodded, "Well, I certainly hope you find them one day."
Angel stepped back, "So are you ready then?"
His opponent stood, "Whether I am or not you've been more than fair."
Smiling, Angel bowed, "You're pretty ok yourself. I hate to kill you."
"You're pretty ok yourself. I hate to die."
"Begin."
Their swords clashed together. The area they were in was nothing but rocky terrain and it appeared to be the ruins of an old castle. They met each other thrust for thrust. Countering each other and as one began to gain ground it was lost.
Angel grunted, "You are using Bennetti's defense against me, eh?"
Black Mask shrugged and lunged at the opening, "Seemed the thing to do because of the area." They missed the opening and were pushed back up a set of steps.
"Naturally," thrust, "you must have expected me to attack with capapero." Angel had been turned so that he was on the edge of a small ledge.
"Naturally and I find tipplepur cancels capapero, don't you?" Black Mask launched themself over Angel's head and landed 7 feet below. Angel turned and jumped. He landed with a soft thud and they began their duel once again.
"You are wonderful."
"Thank you, I've worked hard to become so." Black Mask replied, shifting their weight and feinting to the left.
"You are better than I am. I admit it."
"Then why are you smiling?"
"Because," Angel said and let the smile come to the forefront of his features, "I know something you don't."
"And that would be?"
"I am not left handed." Angel stepped back and tossed the sword to his right hand. Finally being able to use his proper arm, he was able to gain ground on his opponent. The duel ranged from one end of the ruins to another. Currently the two were working their way up a set of steps. Black Mask was lower than Angel and took a stab at his feet, but Angel saw the thrust and jumped as the sword whistled through the air.
The masked opponent looked up and complimented Angel, "You're amazing!"
"I ought to be after 20 years."
They had moved to the top of the stone stairs where Angel had the person pinned to a crumbling wall. Angel pushed harder as their weapons were locked together between their bodies.
Struggling to regain the upper hand, Black Mask grunted out, "But, there's something I should tell you."
Gritting his teeth against the pressure and pain, Angel said, "Tell me."
Seeing Angel's strength weakening, they used the opening to shove him back and in a move similar to Angel's switched their sword to their right hand. "I am not left handed ether." This was just what was needed to turn the battle in their favor.
"Who are you?" Angel asked in wonder.
"No one of consequence."
"I must know."
"Get used to disappointment."
Angel shrugged, "K."
In a few minutes, Black Mask had turned the tables of the duel and was beating Angel back. They saw Angel's shoulder drop as he readied himself to plunge. Taking the opportunity, Black Mask quickly knocked Angel's sword from his hands and swept his feet from under him. Angel landed on his knees with a grunt. The masked opponent stopped before they injured Angel. Both halted and regarded the other for a moment.
"Kill me quickly."
Black Mask smirked at the man before him. "I would just as soon destroy a stained glass window than an artist such as you." Instead they took the hilt of the sword and knocked Angel unconscious.
Knowing that the princess and her captor's had gained ground, the pursuer took off at a run.
From a hillside over looking the ruins that had hosted the duel, Riley, Xander and a bound Buffy watched Angel's defeat.
"Inconceivable! Give her to me and catch up with us quickly!"
Confused, Xander looked at his boss, "What do I do?"
"Finish him, finish him! You're way."
"Thanks Ry. My way sure." Xander cocked his head to the side with a mildly confused look on his face. "What's my way?"
Riley stalked over to a small pile of rocks and picked one up. Turning to the giant he yelled, "Pick some of these rocks, get behind a bolder and in a few minutes when he comes around the corner, hit it with one." With out waiting for a reply Riley shoved Buffy down the path.
The giant stood around still slightly puzzled. "My way's not very sportsman like." He shook his head dejectedly and went to do as Riley told him.
Black Mask ran along the path fearing that they were too far along to catch up. Coming to a small area of boulder's they moved slower and with more caution. As soon as they entered a clearing a rock came soaring past their head disintegrating on impact of the boulder behind.
Xander stepped out from his hiding place hefting a boulder the size of the masked purser's head. Smiling he tossed the rock from giant hand to giant hand, "I did that on purpose."
Black Mask cautiously approached the giant, "I believe you. So what happens now?"
Xander shrugged once again, "We face each other as the gods intended. Sportsman like, no tricks, no weapons, strength against strength."
"You mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we try and kill each other like civilized people?" Black mask was skeptical that this giant would be so fair. Although fair was loosely used considering their size difference, but at this moment beggars couldn't be choosers. With an air of caution, they set down their weapon and looked back up at Xander.
"I could kill you now." Xander smiled.
"Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor for hand fighting."
"It's not my fault I've always been the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise." Xander said the last part with an air of pride and tossed the rock he was holding over his shoulder.
With that the two began to circle each other. For the masked participant, they were trying to find a way to take down such a large opponent and at the time were coming up blank. Deciding that it was time to do something, they charged Xander and tried to wrap their arms around his waist. Grunting and heaving, absolutely no progress was made. They had appeared to run in to a brick wall.
With their arms still wrapped around the giant's waist, they asked "Are you just fiddling with me or what?"
Xander threw the person off only to have them try again. "I just want you to feel like your doing something. I hate for people to die feeling bad." Xander once again pushed them off. The giant lunged forward and missed their target. Black Mask saw the attack coming. Seizing a small opportunity, they darted through the spread legs of the giant.
A deep throated laugh ripped through Xander, "You're quick."
"It's a good thing." The mask said. Finally seeing a way out of this alive, they jumped on Xander's back and wrapped their arms around his head and neck. Hanging on to his back, they tried to try and make the giant black out.
Not even noticing the added weight, Xander asked, "Why are you wearing a mask? Were you burned by acid or something like that?"
"Oh no, it's just terribly comfortable." Black Mask dead panned. Not believing they were having what would pass as a civilized conversation, "I think everyone will be wearing them in the future."
"You could be renowned, starting such a trend. Do you ever wander if you could be just nowned? Do you think if you could would it hurt?"
"Yes, first there is the painful nowning process." Their eyes grew wide as they saw what the giant had intended. Bracing for the impact they felt their back smash between the solid body of the giant and a boulder. The air was knocked out Black Mask and their vision blurred. Xander did it once again, but they would not let go.
Sighing Xander said, "I didn't think you would give me so much trouble."
"Why is that do you think?" They were using the talking as a distraction. Tightening their hold on the giant's throat they tried to cut off the supply of oxygen.
Xander stumbled back and smashed the attacker in to another bolder. "Well, it's just that I haven't fought just one person in a long time. I've gotten used to fighting groups, gangs, things for charity."
Feeling the fight turn in their favor they tightly held on, "Why should that make such a difference?"
Xander struggled with the human on his back. His vision blurred and he struggled for breath, but still answered the question. "Well you see, you use different moves when your fighting half a dozen people than when you only have to fight just one." He fell to his knees and the last thought before he lost consciousness was that Riley was going to be angry with him.
Black masked sagged in relief as the giant fell unconscious. Truthfully they seemed to like the large man. It was easy to tell that he had a kind heart and it would have been a pity to kill him. Patting him on the shoulder, they said "I don't envy you the headache you'll have when you wake up, but until then sleep well and dream of large women my friend." They turned and picked up their sword and went off the way Buffy and Riley went.
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A group of people stood among the ruins by the cliff. Prince William Blood surveyed the area and followed the footprints in the dirt. Stooping down to examine the area prints closer, he said "There was mighty duel. It ranged all over the place. The poncy buggers were both masters." He picked up some dirt and let it sift through his palms before standing up and looking around.
His right hand man, Countess Rugen asked, "Who won? How did it end?"
"The loser ran off alone. The winner followed those set of footprints towards Gilder."
"Shall we track both?"
"The loser is nothing. Only Buffy matters. Clearly this was all planned by the warriors of Gilder. We must all be ready for the war ahead."
The countess placed her hand on the prince's shoulder, "Could this be a trap?"
Shrugging the hand off, he said, "I always think it's a trap which is why I'm still alive."
They mounted their horses and rode towards Gilder.
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Black Mask followed the two footprints for only a few minutes before he saw them. Riley had Buffy by the back of the neck and was holding a knife to her throat. The pursuer approached them with an aloofness that was surely unfelt.
"So it's down to you and it is down to me." Riley pressed the dagger further into Buffy's throat. "If you wish her dead, keep moving forward."
They stopped and did as told. Holding up gloved hands in submission they pleaded, "Let me explain."
"There's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen."
"Perhaps an arrangement can be made?"
"There will be no arrangement." Riley noticed the small steps of his adversary. "You're killing her."
They stopped and folded their arms, "Then if there can be no arrangement than we are at an impasse."
"I'm afraid so. I can't compete with you physically and you're no match for my brains."
A smile played at the other person's lips, "You are smart?"
"Let me put it to you this way: Have you heard of Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates?"
"Yes."
"Morons," Riley said flatly.
"Really? Then in that case I challenge you to a battle of wits."
Riley looked stunned for a moment before recovering, "For the princess? To the death? I accept!" He relaxed entirely and moved to sit at the make shift table. He pulled a skin of wine from his bag and removed two cups.
Black Mask walked over and sat opposite Riley, "Good, poor the wine." They removed a thin wooden vial from his pocket. Offering it to the other man, they said, "Inhale but don't touch."
Riley accepted the vial and waved it under his nose, "I smell nothing."
"What you do not smell is called iocane powder. Odorless, tasteless and dissolves instantly in liquid. It is also among the more deadly poisons known to man." They scooped up the full glasses of wine and turned their back. They dumped the contents of the vial and placed them back on the table. "All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink and find out who is right and who is dead."
"But it's so simple; all I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of person who would put the poison into his own goblet or their enemies? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I wasn't, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me."
"You've made your decision then?"
"Not even close. Because iocane comes for Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you."
Despite giving it their best effort, they rolled their eyes. "Truly you have a dazzling intellect." They said while groaning internally wishing for this moment to be over.
"Wait till I get going! Now where was I?"
Thinking, 'oh dear gods, make it end make it end!' They said, "Australia." Black Mask rested their head in their hands and let the moron continue speaking. Instead of truly listening, they glanced over at the princess. She was still sitting up against the tree, her hands bound behind her back and blindfolded. The sight of her caused several emotions in the person. They ranged from butterflies to rage.
"Yes Australia," Riley droned. "And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me."
Getting annoyed and bored, they said, "Now you're just stalling."
"You'd like to think that wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not chose the wine in front of you. But, you've also beaten my Irishman, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clear..."
Riley was interrupted by the princess, "Oh for god's sake, shut up and make a decision. I'm liable to slit my own throat if I have to listen to you much longer."
"Highness, shut it. As I was saying,"
Black Mask heard the scoff, "Please what are you going to do talk me to death."
Riley got up and pressed the tip of the knife into the blonde's throat. "Let us finish here and I will kill you soon enough."
Buffy let her lips form a thin line and if one could have seen her eyes, the look she was sending her captor would have rendered him dead.
"Clearly I can not choose the wine in front of me." He said sitting back down satisfied that she would let him get through this.
"You're trying to trick me into giving something away. It won't work." Black Mask said folding their arms.
"HAH! It has worked! You've given everything away! I know where the poison is."
"Then make your choice." Their patience was clearly waning.
"I will, I choose..." Riley's head jerked up, "What in the world can that be?" He said pointing over the shoulder of the person opposite him. The trick worked as the masked opponent turned around. Quickly Riley switched the cups around. Just as he righted himself, Black Mask turned and shrugged.
"What? Where? I didn't see anything?"
"Well, I, I could have sworn, " Riley played it off and shrugged, "I saw something. No matter, now let's drink. Me from my glass and you from yours."
They picked up their goblets and emptied them in one gulp.
Black Mask smiled as they replaced the cup, "You guessed wrong."
Riley looked incredulously at the person before answering, "You only think I guessed wrong. That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war with Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against an Iowan when death is on the line!" He continued to laugh hysterically for several seconds then stopped. Mouth agape and shocked, Riley keeled over and dropped dead on the spot.
The masked survivor stood and went to Buffy. They removed the blindfold and untied her from the tree. Buffy blinked at the light and then looked over at Riley. She then turned her attention back to her potential savior.
"Who are you?"
Black Mask just looked at her for a moment, "I'm no one to be trifle with. That's all you need know."
"And to think all that time it was your cup that was poisoned." She let out a solid kick to Riley's side. "You should have died slower."
The other person just stopped and smiled, "They were both poisoned highness."
Buffy spun around and leveled a disbelieving look at the person.
"I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder. Now let's go. I didn't come all this way to discuss my immune system. I feel that we will have visitors shortly and I do not want to be here when they arrive." They shoved Buffy down the path.
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Spike was once again kneeling on the ground looking at the marks in the dirt, "Someone has beaten a giant. There will be suffering in Gilder if Buffy dies."
He stood and took off the way the victor had gone.
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They had been running for what seemed like hours when Black Mask needed a break and looking at the girl knew that she could use one to. "Catch your breath."
Buffy collapsed on a rock and allowed a moment to regain the ability to speak. "If you release me, what ever you ask for ransom you'll get. I promise you." She wasn't sure what this person's plans were, but trying to reason never seemed to hurt.
Laughing, they answered, "And what is a promise from someone like you? You're very funny highness."
"I was giving you a chance. It doesn't matter where you take me. Prince William is a hunter unmatched. He can track a falcon on a cloudy day and he can surely find you."
"You think you're dearest love will save you?"
"I never said he was my dearest love. And yes he will save me!"
Although the princess could not see the cocked eyebrow, Black Mask was clearly intrigued by this comment. "You admit that you do not love him?"
"Please, he knows I don't."
"Are incapable of love is what you mean to say?" The masked captor could not keep the venom out of their voice.
Buffy stood and glared at the figure before her, "I have loved more deeply than a killer like yourself could ever dream."
A hand came up just short of smacking Buffy across the cheek. "That was a warning highness. There are penalties where I come from when someone lies." They lowered their hand and shoved Buffy forward. "Breaks over. Move."
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Spike had the empty vial between thumb and forefinger. He was sniffing lightly while looking at the dead body. "Iocane powder, I bet my life on it." He glanced past Riley. "Buffy's footprints. She is alive or was an hour ago. If she is otherwise when I find her, I will be very put out. Let's go."
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They had stopped again for a rest. Both were heaving against two giant boulders. To their right lay a steep incline and a ravine which led into the forest. Buffy's hands were resting on her knees and she looked up in to the eyes of her newest kidnapper. "I know who you are. Your cruelty reveals everything. You are the Dread Pirate Roberts. Admit it."
The pirate stood and bowed, "With pride. What can I do for you?"
Buffy spat at the pirate's feet, "You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces, or better yet have a stake rammed through your heart."
Roberts shook their head and said, "Tsk, tsk , highness, hardly complimentary to a woman in such a position such as yourself. Why do you wish venom on me?"
"You killed my love."
The pirate rested their chin in a gloved hand and nodded, "It's possible." Appearing to give it thought, "I kill a lot of people. Who was this love of yours? Another prince like this one? Ugly, rich and scabby?"
"No, a farm hand, poor. Poor and perfect." Sadness crept in to Buffy's voice as she allowed her self to think of Willow. "Eyes like the purest emerald ever created. On the high seas your ship attacked and the Dread Pirate Roberts never takes prisoners." Buffy swiped the tears from her eyes and cursed herself for showing this monster her weakness.
"I can't afford to make exceptions. Once word get's out that you've gone soft it's nothing but work, work, work all the time." Roberts sighed out.
"You mock my pain." Buffy screamed at them.
Roberts sat up and met her eye to eye, "Life is pain highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something." The pirate stepped back to gain control, "I remember the farmhand of yours, I think. This would be what 5 years ago? Does it bother you to hear?"
"Nothing you say could upset me." Buffy sat back down and wrapped her arms around her waist.
"She was, she died well that should please you. Tell me highness, if you loved her as you claim, why marry a man?"
"There was no choice. Even it's none of your business, which it is, Spike does what he wants. He's not in love with me nor I him. I'm merely another trophy for the great hunter."
"Hmmmm, at any rate, she offered no bribe attempts or blubbering. She just said please, please I need to live. It was the please that caught my memory. I asked her what was so important for her and she said true love. Then she spoke of a girl of surpassing beauty and faithfulness," Roberts waived a hand in Buffy's direction, "which I can only assume she meant you. You should bless me for destroying her before she found out what you really are." An edge had blead into the masked pirate's voice. Buffy's head cocked to the side at the unexpressed anger and pain.
"And what am I?"
Again anger seeped out of the words, "Faithfulness, she talked of your enduring faithfulness. Now tell me truly, did you get engaged that same hour or did you wait a whole week out of respect to the dead?"
Buffy stood and raged, "You mocked my pain once never do it again! I died that day! Andyou can die to for all I care!" She had backed the pirate to the edge of the hill and in one sudden move shoved Roberts over the edge. She smiled briefly as they went tumbling down. That was before the words they called out rang in her ears.
Roberts tumbled down and said the only thing that came to mind when Buffy requested something, "As you wish."
The words hung in the air around Buffy's head. She sucked in a breath and tears were streaming down her face before she could register, "Oh Wills, me sweet Willow, what have I done?" She didn't think as she threw herself down the embankment. She tumbled along after her love. Rolling and rolling until finally they both came to rest a few feet from the other.
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Spike looked out over the ravine and sighed, "They disappeared, and he must have panicked when they saw us coming. Unless I'm wrong, and I'm never wrong, They are headed into Hellmouth Swamp" He kicked the horse he was riding and led them away.
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Willow's mask had come off during the fall. Her hair had come loose and was covering her face as her breath came back to her. She inhaled deeply and looked over to where she thought Buffy would be. Buffy was laying on her back trying like she had a moment prior to catch her breath. Willow crawled her way over and took Buffy's head in her hands. She finally let the emotions show. Tears filled her eyes and clouded her vision as concern washed through her. "Are you ok Buff?"
Buffy shook her head and let the tears flow from her eyes. Her hand came up and rested on the side of Willow's face. "No, you're alive. If you want, I could fly."
Willow gave her love a half smile. "I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?" The hurt was clear in the redhead's voice.
Buffy shrugged, "You were dead."
"Death can't stop true love Buffy. All it can do is delay it for a while."
Buffy pulled Willow to her, "I'll never doubt again."
Willow took in the girls scent and crushed their bodies together, "There will never be a need."
Buffy pulled back and claimed the redhead's lips. It had been too long since she had the opportunity to embrace her girl like this. Her tongue snaked out and ran along the pirate's lips....
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"Oh please," Rupert interrupted the story.
"What?" Giles asked over the edge of the book and his glasses.
"They're kissing again." Rupert whined.
Giles smiled behind the book, "One day you might not mind so much."
Tara threw a pillow at her brother, "Rupert let it go. It's like a love story but more and besides if you haven't caught on now, it's about our parents. I want to hear."
Rupert folded his arms across his chest and pouted, "Fine, but if I have to hear the kissing then the next time there's a game on you can't turn the channel."
"Fine what ever." Tara waved her hand dismissing her brother. She couldn't help but think that he got too whiny when he was sick.
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Willow held on to Buffy as if letting the small girl further away then the thickness of a hair would end her life. They kissed long and hard and eventually slowed to languid and soft. They rested for a moment catching their breath. Buffy stared at the girl and couldn't believe that Willow was alive. Alive and well. She had dreamt of something like this happening, but never thought that it could have been a reality. In her wildest dreams, she would not have expected this.
Willow was just gazing into Buffy's hazel eyes. Her time apart from her girl had not changed the emotions that Buffy caused. When she had heard of the impending wedding, something broke inside the redhead and she needed to find Buffy. She had followed the girl on horseback when she saw her get kidnapped. That had led to her giving chase and now to this. She wasn't sure what was going to happen, but it didn't matter, there they were together finally.
Buffy ran her hand over Willow's face and smiled. She moved forward and kissed the other girl soundly...