Buffy's Hell
by gnome
Chapter 2
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Here's the next chapter, thanks for the feedback and the email everyone. Really appreciate it. Well here's more just for you!
Willow sat there stunned. Her lost friend had been sitting there like nothing was wrong. Had held her and whispered words to help her feel better. Now she's holding tight and crying. The hacker couldn't understand what the change in character was about. 'I don't want to be in hell anymore' that phrase repeated itself in her shocked brain.
Pulling back slightly she looked down into hazel eyes. They looked years older. She could only imagine what they had seen and witnessed while in hell. 'Oh goddess she was in hell!'
Cupping the slayers cheeks she held her face. "Buffy, I'm so sorry I didn't get you out sooner. I'm so sorry."
Both girls were in disbelieve, one that her best friend was back from the dead while the other was holding onto hope that she was indeed back.
Buffy shook her head. 'It's another trick that's all it is. This isn't real. I so want it to be real. I want to be safe.' Crying again at that thought she held her love to her. She couldn't explain anything to this Willow. The blond just wanted that comfort before it was yanked away yet again.
"It'll be ok Buffy." Stroking her hair gently Willow cried with her. "I've got you now."
The slayer simply shook harder. She couldn't believe it was real. Not for anything. It was hell. This is a trick. Not able to stand the torture for much longer she pushed Willow off her and stood up. Searching her mind she began to pace her old room.
"I don't like this." Whispering to herself she began to panic. "It's not going to work! I won't let you trick me! It's not real!" Her voice had gotten louder as she felt rage enter her. It was a new game they were playing with her. It had to be.
Moving from the spot she was standing, Willow went over and touched her friends shoulder. "Buffy?" Turning the blond around, she saw the pain in those hazel eyes. The light that once shown so bright was now ash.
The door burst open as the other two residence rush in. Both girls had woken up and were getting ready for another day when they had heard her voice. Standing there no one moved.
"Buffy?" Dawn had tears in her eyes as she looked at her older sister. Tara wrapped her arms around her surrogate sister to try and help her as much as herself. Looking over at Willow she was astonished that it indeed had worked.
Taking a deep breath the slayer looked over at her sister. There were a number of times she had seen her in her earlier wakings. None ended nicely and it killed her each time she saw her little sister murdered before her. Opening her arms she needed to feel her sister, even if it was only for a little while.
Running into the room she held the blond with all the strength she had in her, crying onto her shoulder as she felt her sister breathing and the warmth against her skin. It was below average, but way better than stone cold.
"Hey there Dawnie," hugging the brunette she let her cry. She still didn't like the feel of this place, but hurting those she cared about, even if they weren't real, was not something she liked doing.
Tara walked in slowly, watching Buffy as she entered. The redhead simply stood there, trying to figure out how to help her best friend after the ordeal she just went through. The blond witch walked over and put her hand in Willows, trying to help her friend in even the smallest of ways.
Pulling back slightly, hazel eyes locked with brown. "Boy you look so grown up." And she did, Dawn had changed so much after her sister had jumped off that tower. Not even aware of it as it happened, everyone else around her noticed and complemented her but let her be the child they all knew she still was. Smiling at the praise from her sister she hugged her again before pulling back.
Looking over at Tara she smiled. Tara had been a great friend for years. She knew what she needed now and nodded slightly to her. Letting go of Willows hand she walked over and wrapped her own arms around her dear friend. Sighing a breath of relief, she was back. Letting a few tears fall as she relished in the comfort of her being there.
Everyone had a hard time when the slayer died. No one had said much of anything for weeks. When they did it was Willow who said she was going to bring her back. Tara wanted it with all her heart, even if all of her believed they shouldn't. They had done it, Willow had done it. Buffy was back with them.
Giving one final squeeze before backing up with the rest of the girls they waited for Buffy to say or do something.
Still stuck in the belief none of this existed or was real she let herself relax in that knowledge. Taking a deep breath she looked back at them. Even in hell she still loved them with all she had. Deciding to play along with the game she gave a small smile. "So what should we do now?"
The three girls looked back and forth, questioning the other two. "Scooby meeting?" Saying it at the same time with their eyes on Buffy, the slayer simply nodded her head. Dawn went to get the gang together while Tara went to get some food ready. Willow stayed with Buffy. Still puzzled over what was happening.
Taking the redhead's hands in hers she sat them both on what had once been her bed. She didn't know what she should tell this Willow. Should she be honest and tell her everything? Or lie to her friends about hell? Tell Willow she loved her?
The last one had to happen, whether something happened between them or not, she had spent years lying and keeping her secret. There wouldn't be any here. The only consequences here would end here and she would start a new next time she 'woke'.
Looking deep into confused green eyes she couldn't help but smile and feel at ease. Seeing the smile Willow tried to relax, but couldn't shake her thoughts. 'Buffy still thinks she's in hell. There has to be a way for me to show her that its not. I just need to figure out...'
Buffy had been talking to the hacker with no luck. She seemed to be in her own little world thinking, hiding? Her smile fell a little. She had told Willow she loved her, at least a hundred times since coming to hell. It hurt a little when she would back away from her, hate her, yell at her. But there were a few times, between all of those, that her redhead shared her love. She only hoped this dimension was like that.
Leaning forward she let her lips brush with her friends. The softness in the caress amazed her. When Willow didn't back away, she put a little more pressure into it. Loving the feel of those soft lips against hers before pulling back, just as Willow was about to react.
"Mmm, haven't done that in years." Eyes still closed she let a small smile grace her lips. The witch in the room was slightly confused with all this.
"Buffy? Did you just uh, kiss me?" It was an obvious question, but the kiss seemed to shut down parts of her brain, mostly the ones dealing with logic.
"Yup," still buzzing from the contact she let it calm her. Invading all her senses and just sat there enjoying what just happened.
"Uh," still out of it she blurted out, "why?"
Opening her eyes she saw her friend trying to process it, not able to understand what just happened. Shrugging her shoulders she replied with, "Cuz I love you."
Both knew it wasn't one of those 'You're my best friend I love you's' sort of deal. It was an 'I'm in love with you' one.
A knock on the door got Buffy's attention. Tara opened the door to see the two of them on the bed with Willow slightly dazed. "The g-gang should be here in half an hour." She was trying to stay level, but Buffy being back did anything but.
"Thanks Tare," smiling she let her leave. Being alone again she got up and stretched. "I'm gonna take a quick shower. I feel uckie." Finding her clothes where she left them she grabbed a pair of comfy jeans and an old sweatshirt. Nothing fancy, but hopefully something to warm her up and give her that added piece of comfort.
Walking out she went to do just that, leaving Willow in her room with her thoughts and the kiss.
Not staying there long she slowly got dressed and went downstairs. Both girls had changed out of their pj's by now. Dawn was sitting on the couch in her own little world. Tara was in the kitchen doing the same. They would come out of it only to go back in and think things over. Sitting in a chair she too, let her mind wonder.
It wasn't long until Giles showed up. Not having much to do except pack he came over quickly. Walking in he was surprised to see all the girls zoning. Closing the door brought them back to life. Willow was the first to move. "You might wanna sit down Giles." Her voice was mellow, no emotion in it.
Tara came out of the kitchen and took a seat next to what she thought of as her younger sister. Taking the brunettes hand in hers the two sat there.
The old man was slightly perturbed that nobody was saying anything. Sitting down he took the other chair in the room and waited. Not having much patients, the ex Watcher was about to blow. The strain of losing, what felt like one of his own, had made him angry and hateful.
Just as he was about to say something he heard footsteps behind him. The girls had their eyes on her. Slowly turning around he saw her and turned white. Here was the daughter he never had, alive.
Buffy walked down the stairs, hair still wet and hanging flat against her shoulders. Her blue jeans were a little big and the sweatshirt was past her waist and wrists, both at least a size too big for the small woman.
"Hey Giles," her body and voice showed how tired she was. There was still a small smile on her face though, she loved them and always would.
"Dear lord," he couldn't get much more than that out. The slayer chuckled a little at that. No matter what was going on she was sure to hear those words come out of the British man.
A burning blanket rushed through the front door. "Bloody hell, this better be damn important," patting the flames out of his shirt as he spoke. Xander and Anya were right behind him, closing the door behind them.
Xander rolled his eyes, annoyed that the blond vampire. "Just shut up." Looking up he saw her.
"Oh look its Buffy." The once vengeance demon looked up and smile. Waving her hand she said, "Hello Buffy."
The two boys stood there and stared at her. Jaws slightly slacked. Buffy finished coming down the stairs and patted her long time friend on the shoulder. "Hey there Xan-man, nice to see you again too Anya." Not even bothering with Spike she moved into the living room.
Taking a deep breath she stood, waiting for everyone to sit down. Anya dragged Xander closer and both sat on the floor. Spike walked over to a wall and leaned against it, probably so he wouldn't fall over from shock.
Feeling like a bug under a telescope she shrugged her shoulders. "Uh, hey," she didn't know what to say. She knew they thought she was back from the dead, but truth be told, she still felt like she was in hell. What should she tell them? She didn't want to upset them and she didn't want to lie.
Everyone just sat there, watching at her, all trying to figure out what was going on. "How'd you get here?" Giles was the first to speak up. Not the best question but a start.
"I uh, woke up in my coffin and walked on over." She only hoped this would go quickly so she could rest for a bit before her next hell began.
"Where were you before you 'woke' up?" Looking at Xander it seemed he didn't even know he had spoken.
"In hell," she said it so casually that it struck them as odd.
"How long were you there?" Spike spoke up next. He knew that time was different there.
Looking around she took another breathe before talking. "About 200 years."
Everyone gasped except Spike. Instead he asked another question. "You don't think you're back. Do you?" He knew, he had the same problem when he had been there, had heard stories from others on hell too.
Shaking her head she waited. "How can that be, I mean, I thought hell was all with the hot and demons and there's none here. Well I mean, here in Sunnydale, but it's not the same, right?" Xander was a little stuck, 'How could she not know she's back?'
Spike looked down, it was the same. It felt exactly the same.
Shrugging her shoulders she figured she let some out. "Well, I would show up somewhere, most of the time in Sunnydale, and it looks the same, feels the same, smells the same. But each time it was... different."
The blond vampire shook his head. He knew the difference. Dead. That was the difference. All your failures played out over and over again.
Willow saw him shake his head and figured Spike knew something that she didn't.
"H-how w-was it d-diff-different?" The fear in her brought out her stutter. She had been having few problems lately, but the recent events brought it back.
It was brief, but there was a flash of excruciating pain in her hazel eyes. Quickly hiding it deep down she couldn't figure out what to tell them. Willow had seen it, the pain radiating in those eyes. Tears nearly welled as she thought of all the possibilities.
Spike spoke up once again. "It was hell luv, use your imagination." He sighed, even though he no longer breathed air, slumping slightly against the wall.
Nodding her head even though it wasn't required she looked down a bit, eyes making contact with nothing in particular as she zoned, thinking again of things that had happened.
Everyone in the room watched the interaction and physical body language of the two. Knowing full well that hell was worse than they could probably ever imagine, add on to it 200 years in it, they were surprised she hadn't broken completely.
Taking a shaky breathe she looked up, making it seem as though she were looking at them, when in reality she was looking through them. "If you guys don't mind I think I'll just go rest a bit." Moving up the stairs, no one else moved. All shocked at the news they had learned.
Spike nearly hit a wall. Rage building in him as he remembered what he had been through. "Give her time." Pausing he looked up. "You have no idea what she's been through." His blue eyes haunted with nightmares. Pushing off he stood up straight and walked into the kitchen.
Everyone else was too shocked to talk. Anya, herself having been a demon had traveled to hell and played with its victims, knew full well what happened. She too got up and followed the vampire.
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