Shattered Hearts
by redbuffy
8
[reviews]
Chapter 8
Xander walked around the town trying to get his mind off of Buffy and Willow leaving. Xander still couldn't understand why Willow just couldn't stay and wait until graduation in order to meet up with Tara. Feeling a little down he felt a good walk around the town would do him some good. Seeing a sign saying "Grand Opening", he decided to give the store a look. Going inside he was happy to notice that it was a toy shop. Grinning from ear to ear he began to look around like a little kid.
"Hello paying customer", she heard a woman speak behind him. Xander turned around and was met with a small petite woman that was looking at him with a smile. "Are you here to spend money?"
Xander was taken back from the question. "Huh? Oh just looking around", he said and began to walk around the store.
"Can I help you with anything? In order for you to spend your money faster?", the woman asked making Xander look at her with a puzzled expression. "Actually do you have any video games?", he asked her.
At this the woman brightens up and goes around him pushing Xander from his back towards the direction of the video games. Xander not knowing how to take this just let her push him towards the needed direction. Once arriving to the video games the woman just tapped him on his back and said, "Spend", and took off towards the cash register.
Xander couldn't help but notice that the woman had a cute and adorable walk. Smiling to himself he turned towards the video games and started to rummage through them. Xander was so engrossed in one peculiar game that when he heard a scream he couldn't help but he startled and ended up throwing the game in the air from the shock. Seeing that the scream came from the woman he ran towards her to see what the trouble was. Once he arrived at the cash register he saw her on top of the table starring down at something and pointing.
"What is that?", she said and Xander made his way around the table prepared for anything. But once looking at the direction she was pointing at he couldn't see what the problem was. All he saw was a stuff bunny. Picking it up, he brought it towards the woman.
"Ahh, what is that?", she asked him again.
"It's a bunny, cute and cuddly", he said while waving the thing around.
"Oh my god what kind of parent would buy such a horrible and disturbing thing for their kid?", she said while putting distance between her and the stuff animal. Xander saw how anxious the woman was so decided to put the bunny back in its place. "No more bunny."
The woman jumped down from the table and looked at Xander. "You have broad shoulders", she stated. "You and I would make great orgasm buddies", she said, making Xander frown and feel uncomfortable.
"Thanks, I think. No girl has ever said that to me", he said while trying not to be too shocked by the woman's bluntness.
"I suggest you don't spend your money on that video game you just through in the air", she said while looking towards the direction of the fallen game, "because tonight you're taking me out to eat."
"I am?", asked a shock Xander.
"Yes, you are."
"Ok."
"Good", she said and they both stood around feeling uncomfortable until the woman leaned over and whispered, "By the way my name is Anya."
"Right, nice to meet you Anya. Xander", he introduced himself.
"Okay", she said with a smile. Going back to counting her money Xander saw this as his cue to leave. Once outside he made a little snoopy dance receiving weird stares in the process. I have a date! I have a date! He sang in his head.
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Willow kept on starring at the luggage on the floor. She couldn't take her mind off of Buffy and every time she starred at the luggage she wanted to open it up and put all her stuff back. Tomorrow she was going to leave with Tara and go live with her in San Francisco; Tara had already made plans at all the places they are going to go sight seeing. Willow tried to be enthusiastic about it but her mind kept on going back to her best friend. Throwing her head back in frustration she fell on her bed and starred at the ceiling.
Willow still couldn't figure out the situation and she knew the only possible way to understand was to talk to Buffy but she didn't have the guts. She didn't know what to say or ask, Buffy has been her best friend for years and suddenly they were taking their friendship in a different direction. Frowning Willow wondered just how long Buffy has had feelings for her. Closing her eyes in order to clear her mind all she could picture was Buffy kissing her. Snapping her eyes open she stood up to a sitting position on her bed only to hear a sound coming from the direction of the door. Turning to see Buffy standing there Willow's heart almost jumped out of her chest.
There stood Buffy in the most beautiful dress she had ever seen. Willow couldn't remove her eyes from her. "Hey", she heard Buffy say.
Willow eyes quickly moved away from her onto the floor. Willow just couldn't bear to see her best friend in this manner. "I know your mad at me", she heard Buffy trying to apologize, "and I understand but I don't regret kissing you. I love you, not in a best friend way, my love for you goes beyond anything. I'm in love with you and always have been. For years I tried to tell you but I always failed. Every night I went to bed wishing you were mine, forever."
Willow didn't move from her spot and only kept on starring at the floor. Willow knew she needed to talk to Buffy and explain her feelings but a part of her was still mad, at everything. One for Buffy kissing her when she is with Tara and another for keeping this secret for so long. She thought they shared an honest friendship but all this time it has been a lie. Willow could feel Buffy coming towards her and sitting down next to her.
"I love you", she whispered in her ear. "I don't want you to leave,", Willow could hear her voice breaking and knew that Buffy was crying, "look at me."
Willow knew that if she looked at Buffy her resolve would fail so she just closed her eyes until she felt Buffy touch her face. She felt her face being moved in order for her to make eye contact with Buffy. "Open your eyes", she heard Buffy say and for an instant she remembered Faith words about opening her eyes and maybe liking what she sees. Following both Faith and Buffy's advice she slowly opened her eyes and was met with a genuine smile from Buffy.
Willow could feel herself falling in love with Buffy at that moment because she was absolutely breath taking. "Beautiful", she said without even noticing making Buffy blush which in return made Willow smile.
But suddenly Buffy facial expression turned serious making Willow alarmed, "Stay Willow", she pleaded while taking Willow's hands into her own, "stay here, with me."
Willow could see Buffy leaning forward to kiss her and Willow closed her eyes anticipating the kiss but before Buffy could kiss her she unconsciously whispered Tara's name.
Buffy could sense the love coming from Willow and felt happiness fill her heart. Buffy was blushing from the comment Willow made about her. Knowing that she couldn't leave until she made her point across Buffy suddenly became serious and notices the change in Willow as well. "Stay Willow", she said and took Willow's hand into her own wanting to feel connected with her while she said this, "stay here, with me." Buffy could feel the tears coming but she didn't care, all she cared about was keeping Willow, having Willow and loving Willow.
Buffy knew she shouldn't kiss her but Buffy couldn't just let Willow leave without giving her one last kiss. Leaning forward she smiled when she noticed Willow close her eyes as well. Taking the action as a sign to move forward she could already feel Willow's lips on hers, but her approach came to a halt when Willow spoke Tara's name.
Buffy body instantly jerked back and felt her tears coming down harder. Willow opened her eyes to see Buffy crying and knew she had broken Buffy's heart and instead of holding her Willow stood up from the bed and began pacing back and forth. "You had no right", she told Buffy, "no right to kiss me. I'm with Tara; do you know how that makes me feel? Every time I look at her I feel so guilty, I hate feeling like that. How could you Buffy?", she asked her.
Buffy stood up from the bed as well wanting to defend herself and her love for the redhead. "Because I love you."
"Why now? Now that I found Tara, why couldn't you have told me this before? All these years that we were alone together, you could have told me", Willow heard herself screaming.
"I was a coward; I thought that if I told you, you wouldn't want to be friends with me no more. That you would never return those feelings", Buffy yelled back.
"Well you were wrong", Willow said making the room really quiet.
"What do you mean by that?", Buffy said wanting to know just how Willow felt because if she had any chance to be with her Buffy would not give up.
Willow just remained quiet not wanting to answer the question. "Willow, what did you mean by that?"
"Nothing", Willow snapped at Buffy.
"Can you honestly just stand there and tell me you can leave and never look back, at what could have been?"
Willow looked at Buffy trying to understand her question. "What do you mean?"
Buffy took her hand and put it up against her chest. "This", she said and Willow could feel Buffy beating heart and starred at it with amazement. "Love. Us."
"Theirs no us", Willow told her coldly.
"There can be", Buffy said trying to keep the hope up.
"No", she heard Willow say. "I made my decision, I love Tara, I choose Tara", she felt her hand release Willow's. Buffy could not say anything because she knew she had lost.
"I'm going to leave tomorrow and be with Tara."
Buffy just nodded and wiped away her tears. "I hope you're happy."
Willow could feel her own heart breaking by seeing Buffy in that state. Willow watched as Buffy walked away from her and she soon felt her own tears come down. Tears for their friendship and tears for the love they could have had.
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Willow still couldn't remove the image of Buffy leaving her house. The whole night she kept having dreams about Buffy. Willow could feel her heart yearning to be near her best friend at the moment but her pride wasn't letting her.
"It looks like it's going to rain", Tara said while starring at the sky. "Ready?', asked Tara with a big smile on her face. "Here let me take that", she said and took the luggage. Willow watched as Tara took the luggage and put it inside the car. Coming back towards her girlfriend Tara could sense something was wrong. "Are you ok?", she asked Willow. Tara isn't gullible she knows something has been seriously wrong with Willow as of late but she couldn't figure out what. "Is it because you are going to leave your friends behind?"
Willow sighed and nodded. "We will come back and visit. Besides you have me and I will never leave you because once you fall for Willow to stay fallen."
Willow heart instantly became awake at the words. Buffy had once uttered those words to her and at the time she had felt this happiness in her heart but at the time she excused it at friendship but if Willow really exam her feeling it was far more than friendship. Then it finally hit Willow after all these years, I'm in love with my best friend and probably always have been. All this time Willow has been trying to find the right person to love and all along it has been Buffy.
Willow's mind flashed back to all those time Buffy had smiled at her and Willow heart had melted or whenever Buffy couldn't figure something out and made this pout which Willow found cute. Willow could feel all her senses coming back to life, like she was awake for the first time and everything around her was wrong. Seeing the luggage in the back of the car and feeling Tara holding her hand and seeing Tara's parents waving at them to get in the car. It was all wrong she knew that she didn't belong here.
Tara tugged at her to move but Willow wouldn't budge. "I can't", she told her. "I can't go with you. I'm sorry but I have to go."
Tara didn't understand where all this was coming from. "What are you talking about this was your idea?"
"I know but I have to be somewhere right now", she said while going over to the car. "Sorry Mr. and Mrs. Maclay but I can't go." Taking her luggage out of the car she began to walk away.
"Wait Willow what is going on?", Tara asked her.
"Honey what's the matter?", Tara heard her mother ask.
"I can't go with you Tara, my heart belongs to another."
Tara could feel her heart breaking into a million pieces. "Another?", she asked in disbelief.
"Willow, where are you going?", they heard Mrs. Maclay approaching. Seeing the state that Tara was in Mr. Maclay became concern. "What's going on here?"
"Willow isn't going", she told her mom.
"Is this true?", Mr. Maclay asked Willow.
"Yes", she nodded. "I'm sorry for all my troubles, your daughter is a wonderful and beautiful person but my heart belong here and I don't believe it's fair for both Tara and I if I just left with her while my love stayed here."
"I'm sorry to hear that Willow", Tara's mom said. Tara just hugged herself and wanted to cry but wouldn't let herself in Willow's presences.
"Tara-", she heard Willow about to apologize but Tara didn't want to hear it, she felt too betrayed.
"Don't. Just go", she told her while not looking up.
Willow heart reached out to Tara for the pain she must be going through but Willow could feel her body, mind and heart wanting to be near Buffy at this very moment. "I'm sorry", was the last thing she told Tara before running off to go get her girl.
Tara watched as Willow ran and finally felt herself collapse in her moms arms.